Q & A & more!
Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.
Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.
Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.
Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?
Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.
Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.
Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.
Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.
Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.
Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.
"ESTROGEN ISSUES"10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "ESTROGEN ISSUES"
1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.
3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: "How's my driving-call 1- 800-".
6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from "outer space".
8. You can't believe they don't make a tampon bigger than Super Plus.
9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday..
TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND
10. Cats' facial expressions.
9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.
8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.
7. Fat clothes.
6 Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.
5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell.
4. Cutting your hair to make it grow.
3. Eyelash curlers, but only if you were born in the 50s or before.
2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.
AND, the Number One Number One thing only women understand:
1. OTHER WOMEN
Okay... so you probably just got this in your email box, too. I've seen these a dozen times before too, but they still make me giggle.
Smile, God loves you.
4 comments:
How about being hormonal enough to want to lick the screen where the pic of yummy chocolate is? hehe
Thanks for the smile.
Thanks for the laughs this morning. I had not seen this.
And geez, I am still trying to get to those choclats you posted, hehe.
God's Grace.
I love the one that says,"Everyone around you has an attitude problem." That's been me to a 'T'! LOL! :)
Thanks for the laughs, Gina.
By the way, how is the book coming along?
You want to know what torture is? My daughter had to go out of town and she left a Hershey's bar in the fridge. For TWO DAYS it's been in the fridge. Everytime I open the door, I see it. I wonder how long I can hold out.
Claire, the book is coming along pretty good. I have over 40,000 words... only 10,000 left to go. I will have some major editing to do, but what I like about this is that I've got all the components in place... just some rearranging and some fine tuning and maybe some more research for back up. But, it's good.
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