Willfully persisting in sin

Read Heb. 10:26. Let that verse melt into your being for a moment. It says:

For if we willfully persist in sin after receiving the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins remains: only a terrifying expectation of judgment and a fierce fire which will consume God's enemies.

Insisting upon the crucifixion of Jesus even a second time is woefully a sin that bears unforgiveness. Jesus offered Himself once. It was a serious struggle for Him. So serious that He sweat drops of blood. He said, "Lord, take this cup...nevertheless, not My will, but Yours." 

The real question becomes: How can a True Believer willfully persist in crucifying Jesus even a second time?

I tell you every time I read the account of His crucifixion or even think about it, tears pour down my cheeks.

Can you imagine what happened to Him? Never mind the betrayal and scattering of your closest friends. Can you feel those whips tipped with iron striking your back? Can you feel the ropes dig in to your wrists and feel the blood drip to the marble floor? Can you feel the rough hands of the soldiers pushing you, slapping you? Can you hear their taunts and feel their spittle as it mixes with your blood and slides down your face? Can you feel those thorns sinking into your scalp? Can you feel that robe being ripped off your back...the scabs of dried blood sticking to the robe and causing another river of blood to pour down your legs to the floor? Do you know what being beaten beyond recognition of even being a man looks like? Can you feel the weight of the rough wood on your lacerated back? No water, no sleep, no food for hours and hours. Can you hear the clang of iron against iron as the Roman Centurion hammers the nails into your feet and hands/wrists and then being jarred as the cross is set upright. You can't breathe unless you stand up on the nail in the flesh of your feet. Your chest is tight and you are so thirsty as the sun bakes the blood on your body. Dust swirls up your nostrils choking you as you try again to breathe. And then you cry out because your most loving Father turns His face away from you. You have completely been forsaken, rejected.


Isaiah 53
"4 Surely He has borne our griefs
And carried our sorrows;
Yet we esteemed Him stricken,
Smitten by God, and afflicted.
5But He was wounded for our transgressions,
He was bruised for our iniquities;
The chastisement for our peace was upon Him,
And by His stripes we are healed.
6All we like sheep have gone astray;
We have turned, every one, to his own way;
And the LORD has laid on Him the iniquity of us all.

Doesn't a True Believer repent of the deadness of former ways?
Isn't there a 180 degree turn around for a True Believer to Jesus and away from worldly ways?

The next question is: Does "receiving knowledge" equal to believing, understanding and drinking the living water that Jesus offered the woman at the well and anyone that believes in Him? Does "receiving knowledge", "have a taste of the heavenly gift" and "a share in the Holy Spirit" literally describe the Life Changing experience of being made a Brand New Creature in Christ?

I say, no. It does not equal having a truly circumcised heart. It is impossible for a True Believer to even think about asking Jesus to go through that day again. The thought makes me want to gag.

The basic question should be this. Does Jesus live in your heart? If He does, then He is part of you and you part of Him. How can a True Believer ask Him to do it all over again?