... I have this vacant place in my chest... a hole that is sore and bleeding and quite ugly. My cheeks are wet and I can't breathe. I think that is a good thing. I don't want to breathe anymore.
Love is tender. Love is slow to anger. Love is all about the one loved. Love is thoughtful. Love is gracious. Love is wanting to be the one loved and wanting to be with the one loved. God shows me this every day. God illustrated this when He sent me the most wonderful man in the whole world. Lovely and loveable in every way.
Why would God give me the most beautiful gift I have ever received since my two daughters and then allow it to be snatched from my chest? I do not understand how God can tell two people the complete opposite. Something is at work here that is not of God and I do not know what it is. I was content with my life before I fell in love. I was so completely satisfied with my life after I fell in love. Now... I do not know what the future holds. I do not want to go back to the way it was before. So. I ache. I hurt. My bones are dried up. And I pray.