There was a crack...
...then everything split apart and crashed to earth. It sounded like clanging cymbols rather than tinkling glass.
I'm talking about my world as I knew it. The crack was when the Sheriff put a notice on my back door that if we didn't move by the end of the week, all our stuff would be outside by the street. Our home of over ten years had been repossessed. Then the crash was when my teenaged daughters came home from school and found their father in bed with two whores. That was really special.
It was enough to jar me awake, but not enough for me to beg God to reveal all the truth. I wasn't ready for that, yet. God commanded me to forgive and to forget. It was a monumental thing to do. I didn't do it. God did it through me, for I was too hurt, too angry and too devastated to attempt forgiveness. A couple of years passed by and I had forgiven as well as buried myself in a bottle of alcohol a day habit. Then he did it again. I didn't have it in me to deal with it. I realized then that my life would never be the same again.
I was held together with a bit of Scotch tape. All the hope had leaked out the cracks and I was passing through life as an automon rather than living.
I'd like to say, "Then one day..."
That never happened. My life didn't turn around in one day, the hope did not come back, and my friend alcohol took up permanent residence in my cabinet under the bathroom sink for four more years. I did find a church home that helped me to heal; patched me up with their prayers.
This is so difficult to write and I want to delete everything I've written so far and go plant some flowers. It is so tempting to go down a garden path instead of focusing on why I started this post... perhaps series of posts.
There is such a thing as godly divorce. So much has been said about divorce and the Christian so I won't go down that path too much.
Jesus told Peter that we should forgive our brothers 70 times 7 times if he causes offense and he comes asking forgiveness. But, God considers marriage a sanctified place.
Remorse is totally different than repentance. If the husband (as in my case) is remorseful but calls it repentance and then a year later does the same thing with two whores... that is a covenant breaker. God gave permission for my divorce because of fornication on my husband's part with no repentance and no change of heart even after 3 years of waiting for him to do so.
When Jesus talked about adultery and divorce in Matthew 5, He was clarifying divorce was for one thing only and that was infidelity, period. The Jews had devised all manner of divorcements from burning food to too much salt to dusty houses. Those were frivolous and Jesus clarified that fornication was the only reason for divorce contrary to what the going thing for divorcing was of the day or even as far back as Moses. In Moses' day, the Bill of Divorcement was a Certificate of Innocence which freed up the divorced person from any guilt and allowed them to remarry without the stigma of adultery. A guilty, dismissed spouse was not given a Certificate of Innocence and thereby had the stigma of adultery. Stoning was the penalty and the determination of guilt was through drinking some concoction in front of the Priests. That had gone by the wayside. This could have been what Jesus had written in the sand when they brought the woman caught in adultery. That's just speculation, though.
Isaiah 50:1 God asks the question, 'Where is the scroll of your mother's divorce whom I have put away?' There wasn't one because Israel was guilty of adultery. Then in Jeremiah we see the lists of things she was guilty of... there is no innocence on her part nor on the part of Judah. The Bill of Divorcement was the decree of innocence of the "put away" wife.
Joseph was going to quietly "put away" Mary because he knew he had never impregnated her, therefore she must be guilty of adultery. Quietly meant no bill of divorcement to be declared in the courts for he truly thought her guilty. Secretly putting her away, but she would still have the child which would declare her guilt... he could not give her a Certificate of innocence.
Then God stepped in by sending an angel to declare her innocence to her betrothed husband. Joseph immediately got up in the middle of the night and took her to wife as God commanded. The Declaration of Innocence was the release of obligation of legal matrimony. Jesus did not repeat the "write her a bill of divorcement" in Matthew 5:32. If anyone kicks out or sets at liberty a wife without that Certificate of Innocence then that man causes her to commit adultery. There is no "if she marry again" clause in there. It is assumed that she will marry again. It is the guilty husband who causes the sin...or the guilty wife!
However, Jesus set everything back into place when He declared that divorce was only permitted in the case of fornication. When two people are Christian and they are married, divorce is not an option. Just as we are to forgive our sisters and brothers in Christ 70 times 7 times, we are to depend upon the LORD to work in the hearts of our Christians spouses, to draw them back into His will and His relationship.
Divorce from unbelievers is different. Paul tells us not to seek divorce from our unbelieving spouses, but if they desire to split, we are not to fight it and we are not obligated under law (1 Cor 7:15) as Christian married couples are. How do we know if we are married to a believer or an unbeliever? By their fruit. That is the only way. I fear, though, some folks will get to Heaven smelling like smoke, for their fruit is sparse.
Forgiveness is commanded by Jesus. Wallowing in anger and resentment only builds a wall between us and God and serves no purpose for the object of our anger. God truly does protect His children and He really will take care of the chastisement.
Christians Christian Living Bible Study Christianity Divorce
Considered thoughts from Gina Burgess at 1:15 PM