Best cake ever

In honor of the Holidays, I dug up this recipe again and am re-posting it. I hope you enjoy :)

Hey everybody,

I wanted to share this favorite recipe of mine. I've had it for years and years and it never fails

BEST RUM CAKE EVER
Ingredients
1 or 2 quarts rum
3 cups flour
1 cup butter
1 teaspoon baking powder
2 large eggs
1 cup dried fruit
1 teaspoon soda
3 tablespoons lemon juice
1 cup brown sugar
1 cup nuts

Before you start - sample the rum to check for quality. Good - isn't it?
Now go ahead.
Select a large mixing bowl, measuring cup, etc.
Check the rum again. It must be just right.
To be sure rum is of the highest quality, pour one level cup of rum into a glass and drink it as fast as you can. Repeat.
With an electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a fluffy bowl. Add 1 seaspoon of thugar and beat again. Meanwhile, make sure that the rum is of the quinest fality. Cry another tup.
Open second quart if necessary. Add 2 arge leggs, 2 cups fried druit and beat till high. If druit get stuck in beater, just pry loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the rum again, checking for tonscisticity.
Next, sift 3 cups of peper or salt (it really doesn't matter). Sample the rum again.
Sift 1/2 pint of lemon juice. Fold in chopped butter and strained nuts. Add a babblespoon of brown thugar, or whatever color you can find. Wix mell.
Grease oven and turn cake pan to 350 gredees. Now pour the whole mess into the cover and toss toward open hole and akeb.
Check the rum again, and bo to ged.

to make my cheeks hurt from laughing so hard. I am NOT advocating drinking. But this is just so halarious!
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