Awaken My Heart

Awaken My Heart is set in 19th century Texas and tells the story of 18 year old Marianne Phillips, the daughter of a wealthy rancher, Weston Phillips. Weston is involved in a hostile struggle with Armando Garcia, the infamous rebel leader of the 'mestizos' who claim to own the land that Phillips has settled.

Marianne Phillips, the daughter of a wealthy rancher, has never agreed with her father's harsh treatment of the poor mestizos who first inhabited the colony of Texas. When rebels kidnap Marianne, in hopes her father will trade back their land for her freedom, she realizes her loyalty lies with her abductors, not her father, who plans to marry her off to the don of a nearby estate.

Armando Garcia is the locals' reluctant leader, but his people revere and depend on him. Knowing that without his leadership they'd be forced from their land, Armando accepts his role, but does not approve of the latest attempt to manipulate their enemy. When he learns that Marianne actually speaks his language, of her loyalty to his people, and of the faith that keeps her strong, Armando is faced with a difficult decision. Will his newfound love keep him from letting her go? Or will he set her free and risk losing their land forever?

Surfing

I was surfing the net... something I don't get to do very often. Do people actually surf the net? I've heard of people surfing TV channels...

I've read mostly very serious concerns tonight everything from the mayor of Detroit's woes to Matthew McConaughey is going to be a daddy to the tragedy of Heath Ledger's early demise to a serious discussion of people's vanity. Being the opinionated person that I am, I was busily expressing my opinions of each of these concerns (not out loud, that would sound crazy) when it suddenly struck me that the tragedies of humankind are common to man.

And then I surfed through Michael Synder's blog and I found something unique that put everything into perspective for me. But I'll let Thursday's Guest explain it to you.

I'll be reviewing Michael's new book My Name Is Russell Fink in February. I got a sneak peek at it back in 2006 or was it 2005 when he wrote a very strange, but quite halarious short story.

His book is that story. I can hardly wait to dive into it. It's things like this that put the world into perspective. What is crucially critical to one person may be just a brief sojourn to another. What may be heartbreaking for some, may be juicy gossip to another. What may be a deep study of how we look to each other and to God, may just be an enjoyable read to another. We are all different and yet the same.

Fallen

This is a rare and most delicious find. If you like twists and turns in the story you read... if you like believable and very human characters... if you love stories that you can't put down, but when you have to you can't wait to pick back up again... if you like stories that you think about every moment you are away from it and stories that leave you completely satisfied for at least a little while...

...Then Fallen is the book for you.

You won't be able to put it down and it is absolutely one of the most human and completely believable stories I have ever read. It is charming. It is fascinating. It is indelible. Don't walk, run to the nearest book store and buy this book... On second thought, order it today by clicking on the title of this post. I promise, you won't regret it. You'll be writing me and thanking me for telling you about it.

Jim was at work when his eyes drifted to the coffee shop visible from his office window. An attractive woman driving a Mercedes pulled up to the curb . . . and Jim’s married pastor emerged from the car. When Jim delves deeper into his pastor’s world, will he be able to handle what he discovers? Is he right to suspect that Dave is having an affair? Is Dave having an affair?

Do NOT read any other review because it will spoil the experience.

In the behind-the-scenes church battle that ensues, Jim is torn between duty to his church and a desire to show grace. A ripped-from-the-headlines drama of suspense that keeps you engaged to the last page. Fallen is the story about Jim’s relationship with Dave—how Jim tries to do the right thing to keep Dave accountable. Is that the right thing to do? Read it and see.

Counting pennies for the missing

(published in the Picayune Item, Picayune, Mississippi)

By Gina Burgess
Lifestyles Editor
In Jackson, across from the Capital, stands a bullet-proof glass case that is half full of pennies. It stands at the corner of the Baptist Building and is a Memorial to the Missing--missing babies that have been aborted since the 1973 Roe v. Wade case made abortions legal.

The case was designed to hold 50 million pennies which amounts to $500,000 and will weigh in, after it’s full, at 156 tons. That is about how much 75 elephants weigh or the same weight as Mickey’s Fantasia hat at Disney World.

"It’s not the 50 million pennies that are important," said Jimmy Porter, executive director of the convention’s Christian Action Commission. "It’s the 50 million children." Each penny is in memory of an aborted child.

"There is an abortion in this country every 20 to 22 seconds," Porter said. That equates to about 3,900 abortions per day in the U.S. or about 1.43 million abortions per year.
Jim Futral, the state Baptist Convention’s executive director/treasurer said, "The effects of abortion on children are well-known. But, since the Supreme Court legalized the practice in all 50 states, it has wrecked the lives of countless women who have had them and their extended families as well."

Futral went on to say, "I received a letter from a couple from out of state that was particularly moving. They were visiting Jackson and heard about the memorial. The letter said they came by and just stood there in awe for a while at the number of pennies inside. This couple had two daughters who between them had had three abortions. The wife asked her husband if he had any pennies. He had three pennies in his pocket and he went to put them in, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t let them go because they represented the three grandchildren they’ll never get to hold. Eventually they had to put them in together."

The U.S. penny is the most insignificant and unwanted piece of money in any person’s pocket or purse. Very many of them can weigh a lot and a penny doesn’t buy much. People just don’t bend over and pick up a penny in a parking lot any more because it is hardly worth the effort. Until now.

Mississippi Baptists, like the three women pictured, are not only bending and picking them up, they are bagging them and either shipping them or taking them to the Memorial in Jackson. Some are mailing in checks which are converted to pennies and added to the memorial.
In February, Charles Gibson, anchor for ABC World News Tonight, commented that Baby Amillia, who was born at 25 weeks and has survived, is a miracle. "The fact that she has survived and grown to more than four pounds, and is about to go home, is a miracle, yes, but a miracle that may have an effect on the debate over abortion. And it may change what people think about life."

Tony Perkins, with the Family Research Council, was interviewed by ABC for the story. "As we see, with the advancement of medical technology, we have children surviving outside the womb younger and younger," Perkins said. "It really brings into focus how valuable and how precious this human life really is."

The abortion debate is a political hurdle that some may use to try to stump a presidential hopeful indicated by a question posed to John McCain on his trek across New Hampshire last weekend.

"I am a pro-life person. That's been a solid 24-year record," John McCain said Sunday. "I have not changed my position. I have been an advocate for human rights -- having been deprived of them for a period in my life -- from Burma to Bosnia to China to Cuba, and I believe human rights also extend to that of the unborn," said McCain, who endured years of torture and deprivation as a prisoner of war in North Vietnam. Friday was the 34th anniversary of his release, he said.

ABC News reports that South Carolina lawmakers are considering legislation that would force women seeking abortions to see an ultrasound image of their fetus. The proposed bill has angered abortion rights groups, who say politicians in South Carolina are trying to interfere in a medical decision women should make with their doctors.

In Florida, doctors, school nurses or any health provider who finds that a girl under 16 is pregnant would have to tell the police, under a bill anti-abortion lawmakers are pushing in the Florida Legislature, reports the International Herald Tribune, 9 March 2007.

"This bill will scare young girls and their parents from seeking health care at the time they need the care the most," said Lillian Tamayo, president of the Planned Parenthood chapter in South Florida. "It criminalizes sexual activity among minors." The law already says a health care provider must report child abuse, she said. This bill has yet to be referred to any legislative committee to date.

The Bismark Tribune reported on March 12, that the lawmakers in the House of Representatives of North Dakota have passed a bill banning abortion with only loss of mother’s life as an exception. It includes a "trigger" which would activate it into law. What would trigger it is the rescinding of the Roe v. Wade decision.

Senate Majority Leader in North Dakota, Bob Stenehjem, R-Bismarck, invoked a rarely used procedure to table a bill that would grant citizenship to fetuses. "Bizarre," he called it, adding, "Nobody wanted to debate or vote on that bill."

The AP reports Pope Benedict XVI, insisting that the faithful hold firm to Church teaching, told Catholic politicians Tuesday they must support the Vatican’s nonnegotiable rejection of abortion and gay marriage.

Benedict also rebuffed calls to let divorced Catholics who remarry receive communion.
The Pope sent Cardinal Alfonso Lopez Trujillo, to inaugurate an international conference in Mexico City on Friday. He is the Vatican’s chief anti-abortion proponent. This comes in spite of a constitutional law banning religious groups participating in politics. The bill under consideration is to legalize abortion within the first three months of pregnancy in Mexico. Currently, it is only legal if the mother’s life is in danger, or in the case of rape. The law does not prevent wealthy women to cross the border into the U.S. for an abortion, but poorer women are relying upon illegal, back-street operations. Advocates of the bill say legalization would make for safer conditions.

When Futral conceived the idea for the memorial in Jackson, the families of those who have abortions may not have been first and foremost in his mind. But today he is happy that the memorial is magnifying the problem beyond what was originally intended. "But the true weight of the problem and the weight of the loss – there is no way to calculate that," Futral said.

The Baptist Press reported last January the Memorial to the Missing will be collecting pennies until the 50 million goal is met, then the money will be invested in an endowment with the Mississippi Baptist Foundation to create a permanent fund for pro-life projects such as crisis pregnancy center operations and other projects for women with unwanted pregnancies. "No salaries or administrative costs will be paid for with the pennies," Porter said.

Sanctity of LIfe

Yesterday we Baptists looked at life as sanctified, taking a stand against abortion choice. We do this every year. As I heard yesterday, there have been approximately 50 million abortions in the U.S. That amounts to the population of Florida, Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana, and Oklahoma, so I'm told.

Staggering.

I was delighted to hear today that there are greater results from adult stem cell research with no results to the good from embryonic stem cell research. I also heard on Friday that some (very unethical, in my opinion) scientists were "successful" in cloning a human embryo. They started with an egg, took out the genetic material from the center of it and inserted the genetic materail from a skin cell of one of the scientists.

Let's see... what about that is cloning? Yes, I know they call it that, but they take an already created egg and insert already created genetic material from an already created skin cell. Then after the cell divided and began to grow, they destroyed the embryo.

There is something incredibly wrong with this picture. Do we have the right to play with life like that? No. We do not.


Pro 6:16 These six things Jehovah hates; yea, seven are hateful to his soul;
Pro 6:17 a proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood,
Pro 6:18 a heart that plots evil plans, feet hurrying to run to mischief,
Pro 6:19 a false witness who breathes lies, and he who causes strife among brothers.

I know these scientists do not know Whom they offend. I pray that God will show Himself to them, that they may ask forgiveness and receive it before it is too late.

Greatest Christian Writing Market Resource

This is an amazing resource and very well worth every penny! It is comprehensive and it has everthing you need to help you get published.

I love the fact that she has taken the guess work out of getting published.

The essential reference tool for the Christian writer, Sally Stuart’s Christian Writers’ Market Guide is now in its 23rd annual edition!
Check out the section on Blogging on page 69...the CFBA is listed!
Writers’ Conference listings, Book Publishers, Magazine Publishers, and a Bookstore filled with the resources you need to be successful in this business. Get a Book Contract or Manuscript Evaluation, and check out the Writer’s Resource links. This book has all you need to connect to all these valuable helps for the beginning, intermediate, or professional writer.

To keep you up to date with the latest marketing news, visit Sally Stuart’s new marketing blog, Christian Writers’ Marketplace, at http://www.stuartmarket.blogspot.com/.
A new, updated version of the Christian Writers’ Market Guide is available about January 15 each year.

Of course, this only makes a difference if you are truly serious about getting your Christian fiction or non-fiction work published. There is even a section about eBooks. It's a good choice.

A father throws his children off a bridge

I put this story on BNN, but this story keeps getting more heartbreaking.

A father had an argument with his wife then leaves taking his two older children with him, then after awhile comes back and gets the younger babies, too. He then drives to the highest point of the bridge between Dauphin Island and the coast of Alabama, where he stops, takes each child and tosses them one by one over the side of the bridge. They plunge 100 feet to the water.

I cannot fathom the pain the mother is suffering right now. I cannot imagine the callousness and cold blood that runs through that man's veins. Everytime I think about that, I just cry and my heart bleeds. Why this particular story among all the others involving children pierces me so, I don't know.

Searchers have now found three bodies of the four. You can click the title of this post to read about that story.

I found that story most difficult to read.

The world is a cold place. Humans have come to the point that life is cheap.

Mat 24:12 And because lawlessness shall have been multiplied, the love of the many will grow cold.

This isn't the only prophecy. This could apply to latter Roman times, especially latter first century through about the third century when babies were put outside the city gates when not wanted, and prisoners were killed for sport reasons, and slavery was a way of life. It could also apply to the time during WW2 when blondes with fair skin were considered superior and all life of Jewish descent was worthless. Genocides by Lenin in Russia, more genocides in Africa, and more in Slovakia. All through the ages, the evidence of man's love growin cold is blatant.

Now, for the reason that God has said, the horror grows as Satan's anger burns because his time grows short.


2Th 2:7 That doesn't mean that the spirit of anarchy is not now at work. It is, secretly and underground. 8 But the time will come when the Anarchist will no longer be held back, but will be let loose. But don't worry. The Master Jesus will be right on his heels and blow him away. The Master appears and--puff!--the Anarchist is out of there

Blessing from sweet trust

Jesus is the physical side of God. He is the one that we can relate to so He is the one that we are betrothed to.

I am so in love with Him that I cannot fathom how deep my love is and where His love begins. I cannot fathom how His Spirit has made my soul so vibrantly alive that I am not alone for He is constantly with me. Power and Glory and Majesty is He, but more also is He. Only Jesus, only God can pour righteousness over me as fragrant oil...and through nothing that I do, it is just His love that makes me pure. He does this for me because He loves me.

He raises His sword and destroys all fear and conquers my insecurity.
He is my God, my King, my Beloved, Ruler of my heart--tender and sweet is He.
Because He wept at His friend’s grave, He understands my grief as my tears roll down His fingers and my trembling chin is lifted by His palm.
His eyes so full of love spread healing balm throughout my being. He is there because…
Because He had no place to lay His head, He knows the weariness of my body.
Because He walked with feet bare and dusty, He knows my pain in my feet.
Because He held a baby, He knows my love for my children.
Because He stilled the sea, He knows the storms in my heart.
Because He knew hunger, He knows my hatred for diets.
Because He built a chair, He knows why I must sit down.
Because He loves me, I am at rest.

Because He died for me, I can enter the throne room of God. That huge splendorous place filled with His train.

I tremble, I shake and at the Thunder from the Throne I fall to my face. So ashamed am I. So undone. I am so unworthy I cannot look upon His face. The Four Living Creatures protect me from His Glory or I shall cease to exist. I am mute with terror. I have no words for my defense.

Then suddenly, a warm hand presses my shoulder and soft white robe comes between me and the throne. I grab His robe and press my face deep into it. It smells so good, and so clean, and so fresh. It is warm because I feel Him through the soft cloth.

A low voice whispers tender words to me and my terror melts away. His hand slides across my back and He lifts me in His arms so strong, His strength stills the tremors of my terror like His breath stilled the wind and calmed the waves. He looks at The Father and simply says for all to hear, "Father, this one is mine."

"Oh how sweet to trust in Jesus, just to take Him at His word."

Happily Even After

What a joy to read a sassy book that isn't "too sassy". I like that sassy first person type of prose, but most new authors have way-over done it, such as the preacher going an hour over time and the roast is very crispy with smoke curls.

Marilynn Griffith is an accomplished author. She is so personable and her writing shows it, too.

Get this book. You won't be sorry.

Faithing

Is there a power greater than that which raised Jesus from the dead?

Revelation 4:11 tells us that the LORD is worthy to receive all honor, glory and praise. No other was found to be worthy. The Lamb who was slain was found worthy. All things were created by Him and for His great pleasure. Everything belongs to Him because He created it, He was before it, He was, and is, and is to come.

Hebrews 11:6 tells us that our faith (belief) brings Him pleasure, without it no one can please Him. It is a simple thing, yet so hard.

It is easy to believe there is God. He created the heavens and the earth in all their glory. The universe is vast beyond our wildest imaginings, but the Bible tells us that it can be measured by his hand's breadth. A newborn's cry is a testimony to God's presence for He created life. His signature is in the stars for He named each one of the billions of billions of stars. Just look at some of the photos that the Hubble Telescope takes. The dogwood's flower gives testimony.

But to believe God. That is harder to do. When you don't "feel" the presence of God, how do you know He's there?

That is when we must go with what we know rather than our feelings. I love to remember the times we have had together and to draw my comfort from those things He has done for me, from the fact He has never failed me, ever. I know He will fulfill His promises because of all the promises He has already fulfilled. He made the sun stand still. He made the wet bottom of the sea dry as toast. He caused it to rain, and He caused the rain to dry up. He raised Jesus from the dead.

That kind of power flows through the mighty, awesome, marvelous God, and yet He is mindful of me. He knows my name and how many hairs are on my head and the number which are gray and the number which are brown. It matters not to Him how many wrinkles I have, for He has taken me Just As I Am.

Is there a power greater than raising Someone from the dead? Perhaps it is the power of changing lives, the power of forgiveness, the power of mercy, the power of grace. Without those, Jesus could not have been raised for He would not
have given Himself as sacrifice.

Believing

There are three letters that make us know that an action is in progress, that it is continnual. ING... running... jumping... swimming... believing...

Believing God is an action that must and always be continuous for the action to be effective. Once we stop believing God, all the lions and tigers and bears start crowding our thoughts, which leads to fear.

Fear is of Satan.


Gen 22:5 And Abraham said to his young men, You stay here with the ass. I and the boy will go over there that we may worship and may return to you.

Fascinating passage. God had just asked Abraham to sacrifice his son by his beloved wife Sarah, to put him on the altar as a burnt offering.

Fear could so easily have engulfed Abraham. So often we tell God "Your will, not mine, LORD." Then when God asks us to do something, we say... "Um, I know I didn't hear You correctly, LORD. I think you actually meant this and such." Or we tell God that we've decided to do something else altogether. Sometimes it may take a month, or a year, but those who really love the LORD will come to the realization that God literally meant what He said and we must do what He says.

What we so often forget is that God can do what He says He can do. He is the Creator after all. He is in control, if we let Him be in control. Things actually do turn out a lot better when He's director of our feet rather than an observer of our path.

Abraham did not say, "Uh... wait a second God. You just gave me this boy 15 years ago. He's the promised one to me and now you want me to do what???"

No. Abraham knew beyond any doubt that God would provide the sacrifice. He would follow through with the sacrifice exactly as God asked. He had the knife in his hand to slay his son and suddenly an angel cries out for him to stop.

Can you imagine Isaac's relief? Can you imagine the burgeoning joy that floods Abraham at the realization that he would not have to follow through with the sacrifice of his son. I do not know if Abraham thought that God would bring the boy back to life, of if Abraham thought that God would give him another son, or if he knew that God would stay his hand at the last minute. I do know, though, beyond any shadow of doubt that Abraham knew he and Isaac would return down off Mount Moriah, back to his men and the donkeys, for this is what he said before they ascended the mount.

That is Believing.

But, that is not the end of the story. Because of Abraham's believing and because of his unquestioning obedience both in deed and in thought, God blessed him.


Gen 22:16 And He said, I have sworn by Myself, declares Jehovah, that on account of this thing you have done, and have not withheld your son, your only son, 17 that blessing I will bless you, and multiplying I will multiply your seed as the stars of the heavens, and as the sand which is on the shore of the sea. And your Seed shall possess the gate of His enemies.

Blessing follows obedience. It always has. Perhaps God asks the impossible of us, but He never fails to provide what He asks. Time, talent, money, children, family... God requires many precious things from us, and He is fully trustworthy with them. He never fails. He always prevails. Have faith in God... Have faith in God.

Sweet fragrance

(Gen 8:21 MSG) GOD smelled the sweet fragrance and thought to himself, "I'll never again curse the ground because of people. I know they have this bent toward evil from an early age, but I'll never again kill off everything living as I've just done.

I love perfume... the kind that smells nice. Why are there so many different kinds of perfume that stink? On me?

Chemistry.

Body chemistry reacts with the chemicals in the perfume and causes either a pleasing smell, an odor most foul, or a non-smell.

But, I digress. We were talking about God smelling a sweet fragrance which caused him to promise never again to destroy all living things in the same manner... by flood. Was it really the smoking meat of the burnt offering that was sweet smelling to God?

No, of course not. It was Noah's obedience that was the sweet fragrance. God love's obedience. Just like a parent who simply cannot resist the child who is obedient. Lest we over step here, God does not love us because of our obedience. He loves us in spite of our sinfulness and ugliness. He loved us first, then He sent His Son. That was the greatest gift of all.

Of course there isn't anywhere in Scripture that says, Jesus was a Gift, but there numerous passages that refer to offerings, and what is an offering but a gift? What was Jesus but a wondrous sacrifice, an offering from God and the sweetness of the Messiah's obedience rose up as the sweetest perfume from anywhere on earth or in heaven. The cost of it was beyond price, the benefit of it has no price.

So the word of today is Obedience - a sweet fragrance to the LORD.

NYR

Lose weight
Read my Bible more
Walk more
Be kinder to my family

Why do my new year's resolutions always seem to be the same year after year?

Would it be because I keep trying to do these things all myself without the input of the Lord God Almighty?

Most likely. Last year I didn't make any resolutions. I was too busy with a new job and getting to know a most wonderful and charming new city, and all these lovely people.

What is the point of resolutions? To make oneself a better person, right? Then why don't we work on ourselves all through the year rather than waiting until January 1 to turn over that new leaf?

I think it is because we have this anticipation period... or this gearing up period which we need in order to change a habit. This resolve period is crucial for us to build up the resolve to make that decision to get on that jag to change a habit we consider deplorable.

Benjamin Franklin decided to work on one bad habit at a time for 30 days each. What he found out was that as soon as he had conquored one habit, several more cropped up. He found out it was an exhaustive endeavor.

This is why I will bring everything to God's altar. I cannot do it by myself. I don't even plan on trying.

Instead, we will go to the Beth Moore bible study we're beginning this weekend at church. we will curtail my eating to only the times that I am actually hungry. We will drink more water. We may even look for some sort of appetite suppressor. We will park farther away from the place We want to go, even walking downtown perhaps to the post office, wouldn't that be a great daily exercise trip?

I know I can't do this alone, therefore God and I will be in this together. We'll discuss it at great length while driving to work, or walking to the post office, or just before dinner. Putting it all in God's hands may sound like a cliche' or even easy. It isn't.

I must leave it and never pick it up again... for a Fixer, that is very difficult to do.

So, here, Lord, take it and plant it in this willing vessel, water it, and make it bear fruit. This cracked pot will then be good for something in Your hands.

Abandonded Identity

Abandonded Identity is a MUST read. This book is captivating from the very first word... of course, if you like romances.

I do not believe in love at first sight, but I do believe that our subconscious recognizes and latches on to subtle qualities which draw us to some people and repel other people. I also believe that we can be attracted to certain people over and above the superficial.

The book has some problems such as it drags a bit in the middle. The protagonist whines without seeming to whine, but whines nevertheless. However, she is so hellbent to be independent and to hide (there is a very good reason she's on the run), she has huge problem with trusting people, and the mystery keeps the reader reading rather than tossing the book to the floor. The characters are believable, but tend toward the Danielle Steel cliche' of the characters being so rich a month off from work is no big deal. That little detail had me chewing my nails in jealousy.

Happy New Year! It is January 1st, time for the FIRST Day Blog Tour! (Join our alliance! Click the button!) The FIRST day of every month we will feature an author and his/her latest book's FIRST chapter!



This month's feature author is:

TAMARA TILLEY

and her book:

Abandoned Identity
Evergreen Press (AL) (August 1, 2007)

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Hooray! Tamara is one of our very own FIRST members!

She resides with her husband, Walter, and their children, John, Christopher, and Jennifer, at Hume Lake Christian Camps in the Sequoia National Forest. They have served on full-time staff and ministered at Hume for 13 years.

Tamara manages one of the retail stores at Hume Lake, which serves thousands of kids visiting the conference center on a daily basis.

Not only does she write, she is also an avid reader and enjoys other hobbies such as scrapbooking, designing greeting cards and invitations, and enjoying God's creation from her from porch.


AND NOW...THE FIRST CHAPTER:


The young, blond woman stepped off the elevator, rushed past the receptionist, and quickly headed down the hallway.

“Jennifer, Mr. Lynch is looking for you,” Doris called after her.

Jennifer didn’t stop to acknowledge the message. She didn’t have time. She could hear the warning in Doris’ tone. Mr. Lynch was looking for her, knowing she was late returning from lunch. This could very well be her last day at Weissler and Schuler.

She glanced at her watch as she threaded her way through the multitude of workstations. She moved as quickly as she could, even though she knew her efforts were probably for nothing—after all, late was late. He would assume she had done it on purpose and would make good on his threat from the previous week. Lynch had given her two weeks to change her attitude or she would be fired.

She hurried past his office door, hoping against hope that she would be able to slip by without being noticed. A sideways glance told her otherwise. She continued towards her own office, knowing he would be quick on her heels. She had struggled all morning, trying to do her work, trying to keep it together, but with the way she was feeling, her resolve was beginning to crumble. She’d only had enough time to slip off her jacket before she heard his booming voice in the hallway.

“Ms. Patterson, you of all people should not be abusing time restrictions. A one-hour lunch is a one-hour lunch, not an hour and 25 minutes,” he scolded her loud enough so everyone could hear him as he made his way down the hall toward her office.

Jennifer hung up her coat and purse on the rack behind her door and slumped in the overstuffed sofa that filled her office. She braced herself for the inevitable.

“You knew we needed to get started on the Yomahama account first thing after lunch,” he said as he entered her office and firmly shut the door. “Obviously you don’t care about this account as much as you say you do.” He was poised for her counterattack but was surprised instead to hear her soft apology.

“I’m sorry. I thought I could make it home and back again. But with the snow, and the traffic, and the way I’m . . .”

What’s the use explaining, she thought to herself. He doesn’t care. She had just given him the excuse he was looking for. She figured she would be packing up her personal items in less than an hour. She took a deep breath, her eyes focused downward. “I’m sorry. It wasn’t intentional.”

Harrison was taken aback. In the short time he’d known Jennifer, she had never apologized for her actions. Everything she did was intentionally antagonistic toward him. But somehow he sensed a difference in her mood.

“What’s wrong?” he bristled, not really wanting to hear her excuse.

She glanced up at his imposing figure but lowered her eyes to the floor as she spoke. “I tried to kick something all weekend. I guess I’m just not feeling up to par.”

He said nothing, waiting for her to make eye contact with him. She stiffened her back, sighed and said, “It won’t happen again.”

Had she brushed a tear from her cheek? Not possible, he thought to himself. Jennifer Patterson was tough as nails. She would never lower herself to tears in the workplace . . . that was unless she really was ill.

He waited again for her to look up at him, and when she did, he was met with vacant eyes, pallid skin, and beads of sweat that were starting to form on her brow. Just then, the intercom system went off. “Mr. Lynch, Mr. Yomahama is on the line. Shall I put him through to Miss Patterson’s office or your own?”

Obviously Doris knew where to find him because of the scene he had just made. He walked around to the front of Jennifer’s desk and cleared his voice before pushing the intercom button. “I’ll take it in my office, Doris. Give me a minute to get there.”

Lynch gave Jennifer one last stern look and then marched from her office, shutting her door with a little more force than necessary.

She collapsed against the cushions, her strong exterior completely dissolving. She had done everything she could to hold back her tears in his presence, but his quick exit allowed her to unleash the torrent she had been suppressing.

She had never felt this horrible before in her life. She would’ve called in sick if it weren’t for the fact that she knew her job was in jeopardy. It isn’t fair, she thought to herself. I should have Lynch’s job. For the hundredth time Jennifer went over in her mind the scenario that had taken her completely by surprise.

She had been groomed for the director’s position by Meg, long before Meg left to start a family. Jennifer had put in countless hours on different accounts to make sure her and Meg’s statistics had been well researched and presented in a polished manner. She had done the bulk of Meg’s work, along with her own, as Meg progressed into her third trimester. It simply wasn’t fair!

The day corporate brought in Harrison Lynch and announced he would be the new director, instead of her, she was livid. She felt demeaned and unappreciated. Everyone in the office knew she had worked hard for the job and had deserved it. But corporate behaved in their typical chauvinistic manner and took the opportunity to replace Meg with a man instead of another woman. Testosterone was the only asset that Harrison Lynch had that she did not.

While the other women in the office were quick to overlook the injustice of the situation because of Harrison’s availability, good looks, and charismatic personality, she only saw him as a thorn in her side.

She would only be fooling herself if she said she didn’t see his appeal. He was older than she was—the classic tall, dark, and handsome type. His sparkling brown eyes and wavy brown hair gave him a boyish charm, but his stature and muscular body proved him to be anything but boyish. His enigmatic character made him the kind of man that breezed through life with ease, putting the Midas touch on everything he encountered. But the way he clashed with her, rubbing her the wrong way and always trying to put her in her place, made his good looks less appealing.

Jennifer had butt heads with Harrison ever since he had shown up. She was not afraid to speak out against his proposals or the way in which he supplied information to a client. She had caused him more than one embarrassing moment in important meetings with prospective accounts. She upstaged him with what she called “a more efficient way to gather and record information.” She didn’t think it beneath her to use her feminine mystique with a client in order to work on a case that Lynch would’ve preferred to handle by himself. Lynch had put her on the spot on more than one occasion, but somehow she always came out looking professional in front of the clients.

When she had worked with Meg, Jennifer’s desk was out front with everyone else’s. She liked it that way. She enjoyed working in an environment that buzzed with activity. But Lynch changed all that. He made it very clear that Jennifer was his assistant, and he needed her at his personal disposal. And so he had her move her things into the smaller of the two conference rooms.

Giving Jennifer her own office was not a reward but a sentence. She felt he had isolated her on purpose to break her spirit. It had taken the wind out of her sails for a short period, but she decided two could play at that game. She promptly ordered custom office furniture and personalized the space. What he had intended on being a lonely, sterile environment, she had turned into a showplace of warmth and femininity.

She had one-upped him again and gloated in the fact that he could do nothing about it. After all, he was the one that gave her her own office and the freedom to decorate it the way she wanted. The fact that she did it with pastels in a style she knew he disliked (even though she disliked it too) was icing on the cake. Harrison had declared that an office should reflect professionalism not personality and initially insisted she get rid of everything. His request was denied when Mrs. Weissler came in and admired what she had done with the old conference room. With Mrs. Weissler on her side, Jennifer had once again thwarted Lynch’s authority.

Lynch had finally had enough. He called her into his office a week earlier and lowered the boom. “I’m giving you two weeks notice.”

“You’re firing me?” Jennifer was floored. Though she knew that he disliked her as much as she disliked him, he would have to explain to corporate why he was letting such a valuable employee go.

“No, I’m not firing you . . . yet.” He was cool and calm as he sat behind his solid oak desk. “I’m giving you two weeks to change your attitude. I’m tired of the mind games, the flirting with clients, and the way you insist on making proposals before discussing them with me. Weissler and Schuler should present a united front to all our clients, not a sense of division and indecisiveness. You have two weeks to get on board, assume your position as my assistant, and change your ‘I can top that’ attitude. If you choose not to, you will give me no alternative than to let you go.”

Now, it was just a week later, and Jennifer had given Lynch the perfect opportunity to show corporate that she was not the team player that they had assumed her to be. Corporate was breathing down everyone’s neck about the Yomahama account. It meant millions to them if they could seal the deal. If they felt she hadn’t given it her all, they would allow Lynch to have his way, no questions asked.

Jennifer sobbed into the arm of the floral couch that she despised. She thought about all the ways she had tried to make work uncomfortable for Harrison Lynch but knew she had failed. On occasion, he had tried joking with her and having innocuous conversations, but she would have none of it. She wouldn’t accept the olive branch that he tried to extend to her. Now he would have the last laugh, and it would be her own fault.

The door swung open once again. Harrison was poised and ready to battle with her, only to find her hunched over, her head in her hands and tears falling onto her charcoal colored slacks.

He felt uncomfortable finding her in such a vulnerable position. The all-business exterior he had resolved to use with her now took a back seat to the compassionate Harrison that others had seen. He stood for a moment before taking a seat on the couch alongside her and waited for her to gather her composure. It took several minutes before she could speak.

“I know what you’re going to say, so I’ll save you the energy.” She rubbed at her aching brows and sniffled. “You’ll have the files for the Yomahama account on your desk by the end of the day, and I’ll clean out my things. You can do what you want with the furniture. I don’t want it.” She held her head like she was afraid it was going to snap off her neck.

Harrison just sat there, not saying a thing. Jennifer wished he would just leave. She felt defeated and humiliated. He’d gotten his way; he’d won. With the experience she’d gained at Weissler and Schuler, she’d have no problem getting a job elsewhere, so she resolved to give up without a fight. Her only desire right then was to get home before her head exploded.

It seemed like an eternity before he spoke again. “What have you taken for it?”

“What?” She was confused. There was no smugness to his tone. In fact, if she wasn’t mistaken, he actually sounded concerned. She didn’t dare look at him. Just lifting her head would hurt too much.

“Is it a cold or the flu?”

“A cold,” she answered, wondering why he was being so nice. It was a trait she didn’t think he was capable of, at least not with her. He got up and left the room without saying another word.

She glanced at his receding steps, totally confused. She grabbed a tissue from her purse and tried to wipe away the salty tears and runny nose that was moistening her lips. She gently rolled her head back against the couch and sighed heavily, thankful for the solitude. It didn’t last long; within minutes, Harrison was back.

He sat down alongside her, causing her head to sway and a small moan to escape her lips. He handed her a glass that was fizzing, along with several pills. “Here’s something for your headache, a decongestant, and a bi-carbonate. They should do the trick.”

“No thanks,” she said through closed eyes. “I can’t take pills. They knock me out and make my head swim. Besides, I still have too much work to do. I don’t have time to pass out.”

“The way I see it, you’re already wasted. You’re no good to me like this. Take these, and in an hour you’ll feel a lot better. I guarantee it. We’ll work on the Yomahama account then.”

“I should have known you wouldn’t let me die quietly,” Jennifer retorted, looking at the pills he was still holding. “And if I don’t take your concoction?”

“Then I’ll have to assume the Yomahama account isn’t as important to you as I gave you credit for, and I’ll get Jerry to work on it with me instead.”

“Jerry!” She sat up, her head throbbing with disapproval. She slowly lowered herself back to the comfort of the couch, covering her eyes with the palms of her hands. “There’s no way I’m going to let Jerry take all my research and screw it up.”

“Okay, then. I guess you’ll have to do it my way,” he said. “Take these, dim the lights, and allow yourself some sleep. Don’t worry about watching the clock. I’ll come and get you in about an hour.”

Jennifer realized it was no longer a suggestion. Harrison put the pills in her hand and waited for her to drink them down with the bi-carbonate.

She tossed them to the back of her throat and held her breath as she drank the fizzy water. She knew she had to do it in one swig, or it would never stay down. Her shoulders shuddered in protest, and she thought she saw the hint of a smile form on Harrison’s lips. He pressed the button for the automatic shades to cover her office windows and dimmed the lights. “I’ll check on you in an hour.” With that, he closed the door and left her with her thoughts.

What just happened? she thought to herself. He had the perfect opportunity to fire me, and instead he helped me. Jennifer couldn’t concentrate on figuring out the answer to that one. Her head was throbbing so hard, it was making it impossible for her to reason.

She pulled her feet up under her and allowed her head to rest on the padded arm of the couch. An hour’s sleep, then I’ll be able to push through the rest of the day. She drifted off quickly. She was a lightweight when it came to tolerating medicine, and with the mixture she had just taken, she knew that she would finally get some rest.

Harrison walked back to his office and closed the door. He stood before the expansive window and watched the falling snow blanket the Chicago streets. Jumbled emotions crowded his mind. He was afraid that he’d allowed Jennifer’s weakened state to play on his sympathy, but it wasn’t unlike him. He really was a nice guy. It’s just that since he’d arrived at Weissler and Schuler, he and Jennifer had clashed . . . no, more like collided.

He found out soon enough that she had thought she was a lock for his job because of the work she had done with the previous director. He tried to talk to her about it and let her know he understood her disappointment. When he told her he was excited to be working with such a talented analyst, she only stiffened at his attempt at civility. Her spitefulness and malice made her look so unattractive—nothing like the vulnerable woman he had just left in the darkened office. He finally saw in her what some of the men in the office already had seen. She was a lot more appealing when she wasn’t being conniving or manipulative. With her defenses down, he actually found himself drawn to her, but he was wary that would change as soon as she had her strength back.

HARRISON HAD BEEN WORKING TIRELESSLY at his computer when he glanced at his watch. He realized it had been more than an hour since he had left Jennifer in her office. He quietly opened her door and leaned in to see how she was doing. She was curled up on the couch, her face flushed and moist. He moved to her side, leaned down, and carefully placed the back of his hand to her forehead. She was feverish. She stirred under his touch, but her eyes had a difficult time focusing. She looked at Harrison and tried to figure out why she was lying down and why he was hovering over her. She closed her eyes and vaguely remembered being late to work and taking a handful of medicine.

“What time is it?” Her voice was barely above a whisper.

“Almost 3:00 p.m.”

“Oh, my gosh.” She tried sitting up as her head spun out of control. “I’ve got to get working. We have the Yomahama meeting tomorrow. We can’t waste any more time.”

Harrison pressed his hands against her shoulders and gently pushed her back against the couch cushions. “You need to rest. Your body is obviously trying to fight something. You have a fever.”

“We don’t have time for this, Mr. Lynch.”

She again moved to a sitting position. She wiped at the perspiration on her forehead and scooped her long blonde hair up into a handful on top of her head. She started pulling at the pink cashmere sweater she was wearing, bellowing it to get some cool air up against her skin. “I feel like I’m suffocating.”

“That’s the fever.”

Before Harrison realized what she was doing, Jennifer reached for the hem of her sweater and began to pull it over her head.

He turned away and sputtered, “What are you doing?”

“If you have a fever, you’re supposed to keep at least one foot and one shoulder exposed to cool air.”

“Where did you hear that?”

“I’m not sure, but it’s worked before.”

She continued to remove her sweater. Harrison was relieved to see that she was wearing a silky, pink shell underneath the soft sweater. She pulled her black, high heeled boots from her feet and curled up into a fetal position once again.

“You look miserable; you need to go home. This is ridiculous. There’s no way you’re going to be able to get any work done under these conditions,” Harrison added as she tried to get comfortable.

“I’d be fine if my head would just stop pounding, and I wasn’t so hot.”

“Let me call you a cab. You need to go home.”

“No! I can beat this. Let me just rest a little bit longer. If I could just get rid of this headache, I know I could finish our proposal. Please give me another hour.” She was determined to finish what she had started, especially since it could quite possibly be her last account. Harrison was being uncharacteristically nice to her at the moment, but if the Yomahama meeting didn’t go well, she knew she would be the proverbial scapegoat.

Harrison stood with his arms firmly crossed against his chest and doubt in his eyes. He knew from past experience there was no sense arguing with her. Of course, there was nothing that said he was obligated to wake her up either.

“Fine, I’ll see you in about an hour.” He left her office with no intention of disturbing her again. If she had the strength to wake up, she would have to do it on her own.

Although Harrison knew he needed to spend every minute on the Yomahama proposal, he found himself thinking about Jennifer. Why hadn’t he noticed her crystal blue eyes or the delicate curve of her jaw before? Maybe because whenever he talked to her, her eyes were glaring and her jaw was set.

He wandered back into Jennifer’s office around 4:30 p.m. He watched her as she slept. Her breathing was even and her complexion no longer looked flush. His eyes followed the tip of her chin to where it rested near her exposed shoulder. He felt his thoughts wandering in a direction that was far from work related. He had always been cautious to keep his professional life separate from his personal life, but somehow seeing Jennifer in such a vulnerable state also exposed a side of her that was quite beautiful.

He left her office and drifted down the hall. People were beginning to shut down their computers and straighten up their workstations. The talk was all about the snow that had continued to fall throughout the day. The weather report was predicting another foot before morning. Harrison waved goodnight to them as they left and headed back to his office.

Doris followed him down the hall, worry etched on her kind face.

“Mr. Lynch, I’m concerned about Miss Patterson. I know she was awfully sick this morning when she came in, and she didn’t look any better when she returned from lunch. I haven’t seen her since you . . . well, since you spoke with her this afternoon.”

Harrison knew what Doris was alluding to. The way he had barked at Jennifer when she returned from lunch had obviously been heard throughout the office.

“I gave her some medicine earlier today, and it made her pretty sleepy. That’s why you haven’t seen her.”

“Will she be okay to drive herself home? The road conditions have gotten pretty bad.”

“Don’t worry, Doris, I’ll make sure she’s okay before she leaves.”

“Okay, I was just concerned. She really is a sweet girl; she just comes off a bit harsh sometimes.”

“Harsh? That’s an understatement!”

Doris just smiled. “Well, good night, Mr. Lynch.”

“Good night, Doris, and thank you for your concern.”

What price Christmas?

If I did not have a strong heart, I know I would have had a heart attack just from the sheer cost of health insurance. I am not happy that I must pay for the malpratice insurance and the other high cost of doing business in the medical field.

It is actually gambling, don't you think? The purchase of health insurance is a bet that I will get sick and need it, and the insurance company is betting that I won't get sick and need it. The problem is... most insurances that are available in Mississippi for individuals is priced ridiculously high for "older" Mississippians. If I were but 3 years younger, the cost of my insurance monthly premium would be reduced by $100. But, I'm not, so I'll have to pay. And the premium is on top of any cost of going to the doctor. That makes me angry. Not only do I have to pay the insurance company a monthly premium, but I must also pay on top of that for my regular visits to the doctor up to my deductible. If I do not get sick enough to go to the hopsital, I may as well not even have insurance. It would be considerably cheaper.

Then, I hear all these retailers moaning and groaning over lack of sales this Christmas. I wanted to just reach through the TV screen and slap that finance reporter... $26 Billion--yes, ladies and gentlemen that is with a Big Fat B--is not a paltry sum that people have parted with this season, according to one report.

Here we have a classic example of greed and discontent. No one is satisfied. Even with gift cards floating around the populace with and estimated $28 Billion on them for future spending. How can that be something to groan about?

I cannot even fathom how much $1 Billion is. How can I contemplate $28Billion? How much is that?

Let's see, 1% of that is $280 million! That is almost enough to give $1 to each and every American (population 303,640,054,869). With $28 Billion, we could buy the Hilton Corporation.

$30 billion buries a football field under 120 feet of $1 bills laid side by side and end to end. That would be the same height of 20 6' tall men standing feet on heads. So what's a paltry $2 Billion?

Well 2 Billion seconds last for 67 years.

And all this means nothing to retailers? Bah Humbug!

We can't even compare how much God gave us when He sent His Son Who became fully and completely human in every physical sense. How can the cost be counted?

I cannot imagine what it would be like to see my child hanging from a cross so that I could live. Somehow, that stupid tie, or that broken picture frame loses any sense of importance.

Gold will lose its luster and diamonds will disintegrate, but I shall be sitting at my Savior's feet. One day we'll be celebrating eternally with all our loved ones. How can that price be counted?

I dare not contemplate that. The cost was so high, yet willingly paid. The bride price was given with no thought to the shame, but to the joy beyond the cross. Glory.

Little baby feet...

Reprint from 12-20-05

Little, sweet baby feet. Mary will soon cover them with her hand, warming them against the night chill. She has treasured in her heart all the words spoken about her first born Son.

Things like, "The angel was so glorious, shouting out praises to God on High and the Good News! The Messiah is born! Our long awaited Savior, the Lord, is born!"And word went out publically, through the bright streets of Bethelehem. The star shining down on the child. The little feet, toes curled against the chill, wiggled in His mother's hand.

Eight day old, tiny feet with pink toes that curl in pain as the centuries-old right of covenant is performed on the Messiah.

Simon lifts his old eyes, tears spilling from their corners to the Lord God Almighty. Praising Him for this precious gift. Anna speaks to all who will listen about the Christ child, this most amazing gift from God.

The feet grew large enough for little sandals as they toddled, one in front of the other. Tiny hands holding on to a big Daddy finger. His first steps, those little feet on their own, dust swirling around them, making the little nose sneeze. A delighted chuckle from Daddy, and a bright grin from Mommy. Loving, watchful eyes guarded those little feet from the fire, the holes, the rocks.

One day a mighty procession fills the streets of Bethelehem. Camels dressed in finery, servants dashing from house to house questions in their expressions, the star's bright light settled over one house. Magi, wise men from the far East nod and smile. They get off their beasts and carefully search the packs until fine gifts are found. Gold, frankencense and Myrrh. Reverently they enter His presence. They bow and worship Him, kissing His little feet.

The days go by and His feet grow larger, tucked underneath Him as He sits in His Father's House. The voices of many echo around. He speaks with great authority and the voices quiet. "Did you not know that I must be in My Father's House about My Father's business?"

The days go by and His feet grow larger. The heat bears down and the slap of leather against hard ground is muted by many voices. Dust billows up and covers those following behind Him. Disciples they are called. A word that loosely means dust gatherers as they follow Him. Men and women thirsting for the living water that falls from His lips; hungering for the Bread of Life.The days go by and storms cease, roiling billows calm, deaf hear, blind see, sick are healed, lepers are cleansed, demons are routed, stories are told, His feet get tired and His bones grow weary from the press of the opressed. His own received Him not but those that did receive Him were given Life because He is the Way, the Truth and the Life, the Doorway to Heaven.

The feet carried Him through desert and over mountain, through streams and over the sea.One afternoon the feet are resting against cool tile. A woman enters the room. She settles at the feet. Her tears wash the dust from them. Her hair dries them. She kisses His feet in deep worship for she has been forgiven much. She washed His feet as the nobleman did not. Reverent worship by anointing them with ointment. One day the feet stumble down the street, drenched in His blood.

The feet are in agony as they trudge toward Golgotha. The nails are hammered through them into the cross. Splinters pierce the skin. Blood drips from them into the dust. The feet strain to hold Him up for one last breath and then He gives up His spirit.

Tenderly the feet are washed one last time, a hundred pounds of spices and clean cloths are wrapped around the body and He is laid to rest in a freshly hewn tomb. The stone covers the entrance and darkness engulfs the One. Days pass. Suddenly, the earth quakes.Those dear feet touch earth once more, transformed. The same, but different, glorified, radiant feet and body. These dear feet walk down a road and the King tells His story from Genesis to Malachi , all those things that foretold His coming, His dying, His arising in victory over sin and death.

On the mountain, the last thing the disciples see are the soles of those feet rising to Heaven.

Oh happy day, the day I can sit at those feet that are even now on the pavement of sapphire as clear as the heavens... To kiss them in worship and adoration... To sit at them and learn from He who has all knowledge and has all power and secured victory for me and gave me life eternal with him. Oh happy day, O glorious feat.

Distant Heart

I have not read this one yet, I got caught up reading another book however... it sounds good...

In the second book in the Westward Hearts trilogy, will the promise of a new life out west heal the scars of Toni's past?This series tells the stories of three strong women as they struggle to survive on the rough wagon train and lose their hearts to unlikely heroes along the way/ Thin Little House on the Prairie meets Francine river's Redeeming Love and you begin to get a sense of the riveting historical series that Tracey Bateman has created.In this second installment, we follow Toni Rodden, a former prostitute who sought to escape her past and build a new life, and a new reputation, when she joined the wagon train. Despite much resentment and distrust from the other women, Toni has finally earned a place on the wagon train and found a surrogate family in Fannie Caldwell and her two siblings. For the first time in her life, Toni actually feels free.

But while Toni once harbored dreams that her new life might include a husband and family, she soon realizes the stigma that comes with her past is difficult to see beyond and that she'll never be truly loved or seen as worthy. As the trip out west begins to teach her to survive on her own, she resolves to make her own living as a seamstress when the train finally reaches Oregon.

But despite Toni's conviction that no man will be able to see beyond her marred past, Sam Two-feathers, the wagon scout and acting preacher for the train seems to know of a love that forgives sins and values much more than outward appearances. Will Sam have the confidence to declare his love? Will Toni be able to trust in a God that can forgive even the darkest past? Faith, love, and courage will be put to the test in Distant Heart.

For the pleasure of it

Posted from www.liveasif.org

In these days of soft-soap Christianity and the feel-good-do-it society, I've noticed that people reach for that pleasure factor in worshiping our Lord God Almighty. Have you noticed that?

I think there is nothing wrong with going to God for the pure pleasure of it. In fact it gives great pleasure to believers to go into the Throne Room to worship and bring praises to God our creator and our deliverer. But just as Solomon found out there is a limit to how pleasure pleases the mind and the body (Ecclesiastes 2) It becomes empty.

It is exactly like marrying a woman for her body... eventually a person gets exhausted of nothing but pleasure and it then comes to a point where there is no more satisfaction in the pleasure act and cravings begin to develop for something more than just pleasure. We are created that way--different aspects and facets to the same jewel.

I think pursuit of pleasure as a motivation to serve does seem a bit selfish. It is the same as the end justifying the means which is wrong thinking.

Our motivation should be a deep desire to please and not so much focused on our own pleasure, although that is a great benefit.

After all to obey is better than sacrifice and to pay attention is better than the fat of rams. 1 Samuel 14:22 Who can I speak to and give such a warning [and bear witness] that they will listen? Look, their ear is uncircumcised, [ = unresponsive to God] so they cannot pay attention. See, the word of the LORD has become contemptible to them— they find no pleasure in it. Jeremiah 6:10

The one who loves pleasure will become a poor man; whoever loves wine and oil will not get rich. Proverbs 21:17

God searches the hearts of men all over the world, but the hearts of those that serve Him are of the most special interest to Him. If God finds a self-serving motive--such as pleasure seeking-- how true is that Believer's heart? Where is the sacrifice? Where is the fat of rams? And here is where I have the problem with the pleasure-motivated service to God. Where does the personal agenda cease and the neck bend, the will submit to God's will and His agenda?

Jesus for the sake of the joy ahead... that was to come, endured the cross. How hard that struggle was for Jesus knew the torture and pain yet He willingly set His face toward it. He looked past the shame to the joy, (notice it the word in that Scripture is not happiness) beyond the cross.

So... with that in mind, how enduring is a pleasure-based motive to serve God? When the trials and troubles come, does the pleasure motive have roots deep enough to withstand the storm?

Since God is love and His gift to His children is His enduring love that a love-based motive is stronger and more enduring, and longer-lasting than the pleasure-based motive. Here is the thing, if a person does good deeds simply because it makes them feel good, does that diminish the good deed's worth? Perhaps in the sight of God it does, perhaps not to the person receiving the good deed.

Seeking to enjoy God for the pure pleasure of His company and the pure pleasure it brings is very okay! That is the fun time, that is the dancing time and it is enjoying Him that gives strength for the other times that are not so enjoyable when He calls us to sacrifice for Him.

Sacrifice is all about Him and none of self. It is all about obedience and none of selfish desire. Since God searches the hearts of man, Jeremiah 17:10 I, Jehovah, search the heart, I try the reins, even to give to each man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his doings. Therefore, pleasure is a poor motivator for the things of the heart that would please God. He promises that if we delight in Him, then He will give you your heart's desires.

Does that mean that our desires are given to us, or does it mean that He puts desires in our hearts? I think I would prefer that He put His own desires in my heart, then I know I would delight in Him and delight Him.

How great that is... putting a smile on God's face! To please Him brings great pleasure, but that kind of pleasure is much more pleasant. It doesn't depend upon another person, or even upon one's self. It just bubbles up and pours all over us like a the spring in a well-watered garden. Isaiah 58.

What Lies Within

There are no words that accurately describe this book. What Karen Ball has put together is a smooth read that is predictable, but a good kind of predictable. If it had gone any other way, I would have been mad.

In places it is very gripping. In places it is very sweet. I think it is a bit too wordy and in someplaces it bogs down. I just skipped over those and kept reading.

This is a Christian fiction book that actually brings in the Faith Factor. That merits a star all by itself. I give it three stars.

Kyla Justice has arrived. Her company, Justice Construction, is one of the most critically acclaimed, commercially successful companies in the Pacific Northwest. And yet, something is missing. Not until she’s called on to build a center for inner-city kids does she realize what it is: her sense of purpose. Now nothing can stop her, not the low budget, not supply problems, not gang opposition, not her boyfriend’s suggestion that she sell her business and marry him–and most especially not that disagreeable Rafael Murphy.

Rafe Murphy understands battle. Wounded in action, this Force Recon Marine carries the scars–and the nightmares–to prove it. Though he can’t fight overseas any longer, he’s found his place as a warrior in the civilian world. So he soldiers on, trusting that one of these days, God will reveal to him why Rafe survived the ambush in Iraq. That day has arrived.

Kyla and Rafe both discover that determination alone won’t carry them through danger and challenges. When gang violence threatens their very foundations, there’s only one way to survive: rely on each other, be real–and surrender to God. In other words, risk everything…

Adam and Eve and Free Will

Usually when "one of those passages" keep coming back to my mind, I have found that God is trying to teach me something very important.

I have been thinking about the Free Will question. Firstly, we don't know what kind of fruit the Tree of Knowledge had on it. Someone somewhere decided that it was an apple (shrug) go figure.

Let's look at the Scripture verse by verse: God created the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. (Gen. 2:8-9) Then God put Adam into the Garden of Eden that He had made for him so he could work the Garden and keep it in order. Then: 16 GOD commanded the Man, "You can eat from any tree in the garden, 17 except from the Tree-of-Knowledge-of-Good-and-Evil. Don't eat from it. The moment you eat from that tree, you're dead." The Message

Here is the very first commandment. Never had God commanded anything before...He just spoke and it was. But to Adam, God gave intelligence and God expected obedience from him. We know that Adam did eat from the Tree. We also know that Adam did not physically drop dead from eating that fruit. So what happened when he took that bite?

1. God commanded Adam not to eat of the fruit...God commanded Eve through Adam.
2. God expected Adam's obedience.
3. God knew that as long as Adam obeyed Him, Adam would be innocent--meaning that he would be guiltless of any sin. Okay... let's go back and look at another verse.

Gen 2:7 Then the LORD God formed man of dust from the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being.NASB

breathed is nâphach naw-fakh'
A primitive root; to puff, in various applications (literally, to inflate, blow hard, scatter, kindle, expire; figuratively, to disesteem): - blow, breath, give up, cause to lose [life], seething, snuff.
God gave His Spirit to Adam. Adam was the first created being to be created saved. His own spirit was given life by God's breath.

breath is the Hebrew word נשׁמה neshâmâh nesh-aw-maw'
From H5395; a puff, that is, wind, angry or vital breath, divine inspiration, intellect or (concretely) an animal: - blast, (that) breath (-eth), inspiration, soul, spirit. means breath of God, spirit of man.

life is the Hebrew word חי chay khah'ee which means to live, have life, be quickened to life
From H2421; alive; hence raw (flesh); fresh (plant, water, year), strong; also (as noun, especially in the feminine singular and masculine plural) life (or living thing), whether literally or figuratively: - + age, alive, appetite, (wild) beast, company, congregation, life (-time), live (-ly), living (creature, thing), maintenance, + merry, multitude, + (be) old, quick, raw, running, springing, troop.

But more than that, God created Adam with a perfect fellowship with Himself. Adam knew God intimately and Adam had God's Spirit abiding within Himself. Adam and Eve were the only flesh and blood that ever entered God's presence because they were innocent of any sin. They didn't even know what sin was. They did not know what evil was and did not experience evil.

Gen 2:25 And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

When Eve was deceived and she gave Adam the fruit to eat... Adam chose to disobey God's command and he ate the fruit. This fruit was from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. Basically, it wasn't solely the fruit that gave them the knowledge, it was the act of disobedience also that gave them the knowledge. They were no longer innocent and they knew they were naked. Consider chapter 3 in Genesis... A lot of finger pointing went on, but if we follow God's leading...we'll see who God considered the real culprit.

3:14 -- The serpent is cursed more than anything created. The woman's seed will bruise its head with His heel.
3:16 -- The woman's pain in child birth was greatly multiplied and in spite of the pain of childbirth, her desire would be for her husband. She would be ruled by him.
3:17-19 -- The man's labor is greatly increased in order for his family's needs to be provided for; and here is where God decrees Man will physically die. 3:23 -- God sends Adam out of the Garden, away from His own presence. Thus are the physical consequences of the first sin--the sin of disobedience-- established. Adam and Eve were given Free Will from the very beginning, otherwise they would not have been able to defy God's command to not eat from the Tree of Knowledge. It was always God's intention for humans to have Free Will because He has never desired Forced Worship. He desires us to desire Him above all things. He desired Adam & Eve to make Him ruler of their hearts just as this is His desire for His children. They exercised their freedom of choice.

The sin was disobedience to God's command. The consequence was loss of the Holy Spirit of God abiding within their hearts. Therefore, Adam & Eve Spiritually died the instant they took that bite of the fruit. They eventually physically died, however the Spiritual death was much more trumatic because God banished them from His presence. The consequence of this was that all humans ever after are born with a God-sized hole. Man was created to be Spiritually alive with God's Spirit. When this was taken away, the God-sized hole gives Mankind this intense craving to be filled. Mankind does all kinds of crazy things to fill this hole. He tries everything from work, to money, to drugs, to self-mutilation, to pursuit of knowledge (Ecclesiastes is a good example of this) to pursuit of perfect physical appearance, to having as many children as possible, to all kinds of church work, to buying as many toys as possible, clothes, shoes, possessions, big houses... the list goes on and on. Nothing fills that God-sized void except the Holy Spirit. It took the willing sacrifice of Jesus to reconcile humans to the Living God again legally.

In the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus sweated drops of blood in His anxiety but He chose to obey God's will. Now, we can freely choose to either accept Jesus as our Savior or to reject Him. (Proof of this choice is in Acts 12--you might note that we are not given a reaction from Drusilla whose father was Herod Agrippa. He's the one that was eaten alive by worms because of his pride and refusal to bend to God's will.) Here's the wonderful thing about this kind of Freedom. When we accept Jesus as Savior -- That's the last decision we ever make on our own. We have much greater wisdom at work in us than mere human wisdom after the Holy Spirit resides in our hearts. Choosing Jesus means choosing Him as Ruler of the Heart and Mind and Body and Soul.

This is how a Christian is known to other Christians...True Believer to other True Believers. The True Believer will desire to obey God and will be convicted by the Holy Spirit when he/she sins. Does this mean we won't have periods of rebellion and/or times of seduction into doing ungodly things? No. We most certainly will have those times because we are not perfect and we still reside in our fleshly, physical bodies. What it means is that we will be convicted of our sin when we sin and we won't be able to sleep at night or have peace in our minds or be content. We will worry. We will fret. We will do all manner of running away from God until we recognize the sin for what it is. When we confess that sin and repent from that sin...Then God cleanses us, refreshes us, gives us peace in our hearts and minds. Our witness is restored from the shambles it was in and we are stonger in the Lord than ever before.

Our Free Will becomes a trophy for Jesus, a crown at His feet. It is the free will offering that we bestow upon Him.