Tough doesn't mean crusty

Back in the 50s and 60s (yes, last century) women had a huge responsibility within the family unit. They actually said with straight faces, “I don’t work.” In the 70s it became, “I don’t work outside the home,” said sheepishly and downcast eyes. Let’s face it, when their day of toil began before sunup and didn’t end until long after sundown and the kids were asleep. They wore dresses and girdles to do house work. Girls were taught how to be women, graceful and lovely and unruffled. We were taught how to make an Entrance without being considered a show-off. It’s a trick, and quite effective, but we don’t do it anymore because that would make us too feminine and weak-looking.
Children had an orderly environment, and it was normal to find the entire family at the table during the dinner hour, as well as the breakfast hour. Women were serious about the children’s education, and fathers were serious about moral values. Family life wasn’t as neatly tied up with string as in the movies or TV shows, but there was considerably more family church going, and family prayer time than is evident today.
Women were soft and curvy with spines of steel. Today, women are crusty on the outside with spines of steel. At least that is what the movies and TV shows would have us believe. There are so many tough, bossy tom-boyish women in the media that I’m ashamed of womanhood. The line between the sexes is so fuzzy now I think we should all be called Pat.
Is it just me? Are we being pushed into a masculine box? Are we being shamed into acting in ways that are supposedly more acceptable for independence with hard, crispy manners? That is what is being dished up by Hollywood, and I’m just saying, “No, thank you,” to that cold dish. “I’ve had plenty, thank you.”
I don’t watch Dr. Phil very much, but I happened to catch one of his “Housewives” shows on Tuesday. This poor man was sitting in the hot seat. (Mind you, I am NOT saying that adultery is okay. It is heinous.) This man was in a sexless marriage with is his wife (one of the housewives) for 16 years. Dr. Phil asked her, “So are you sexually aggressive?” She gave an affirmative answer. When Dr. Phil asked the husband why wasn’t he attracted to his wife for the past 15 years, the man (not once was his face shown) didn’t even get to finish his answer but did manage to say that she always judged his performance.
To be fair, she did say she praised him everyday… but, we all know that when a man is Unmanned, he won’t or can’t perform well. This woman made her husband feel like a non-man in bed. If you were made to feel that way, wouldn’t you run the other way?
When will women get it? When will we understand that we came from Adam’s rib, and we were not made to be better than him or to be behind him, we are the helpmate. The better part of valor is wisdom. Putting wisdom to good use is to understand what makes our husbands tick and then to Gently wind the mechanism for the best performance. Just like the best sex for women begins at breakfast, the best sex for men begins when the woman makes him feel like a real man, not a little boy or a boor, but a real man.
Just remember: Contentious women are like constantly dripping water. Be a shower of refreshing rain, but also be sure that the Son dries up any leftovers so dripping won’t be annoying.
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