Power Surges...

I ran across a column I wrote for the Picayune Item several years ago. It ignited a chuckle again because it was so true back then... and is still somewhat true for me today. I thought this menopause thing would be over with in a few years until I met a seventy-five year old woman who said she still had hot flashes! ACK!

A Cold Day
by Gina Burgess
This Crazy World
(c) 2008
   
The PRC school board meeting had not started yet, there was a question about the air conditioning. The women sitting in front of the a/c were cold so it was turned off. It didn’t take long before the men were waving papers and commenting on the heat.

The superintendent said it was strange but men had different thermostats than women did and they were usually cold and men were usually hot.

Only my family can understand the white- knuckled grasp I have on restraint at any public meeting. Maybe you can tell I’ve got a huge collection of opinions on just about everything. At meetings I attend for the purpose of reporting on them, I have teeth indentions in my tongue. Since the meeting had not started, you know I just had to interject, “Only to a certain age.”

I do remember the days a long time ago and not quite in a galaxy far away, when I my thermostat was normal and I was generally cold when my husband was sweating buckets. It was a good thing there wasn’t such a thing as dual controls on the air conditioning in houses back then or we would have been like Rita Rudner and her husband in their new, dual-control equipped car. She said when they discovered that feature, she would turn the temperature up on her side, and he would turn his down to glacier level. They had hardly gotten to the corner of their street before clouds began to form in their car. Only in our house, the children would have begged for a lighthouse and a fog horn so they could find their way to the kitchen.

What men and women do have different thermostats. Men generally run hot and women run cold up to a certain age. Then it reverses. Have you notice this phenomenon?

A fifty-year-old woman can be standing in front of a glacial gale with her face beet red, sweat droplets freezing on the ends of her hair plastered to her head, and her clothes all sticky. It is called hot flashes. I read some where that old women don’t have hot flashes, they have power surges. Regardless, it is most uncomfortable.

I also read somewhere that some doctor did a study, and these hot flashes only last about three minutes. Why weren't mine only three minutes long? I should be so lucky. Then I got to paying attention, and that does seem to be true, they last for three minutes. Unfortunately, they sometimes come in waves, and the three minutes may stretch into half an hour. If the air conditioning is turned down to a comfortable 65 degrees, then the hot flashes are not a problem, just a minor irritation.

It took moving back to my mom’s and dad’s after my divorce for me to fully appreciate the reversal of gender thermostats. At temperatures that fry eggs on concrete, dad would be drinking hot coffee and admiring what ever project he was working on. At temperatures that melt chocolate, he was most comfortable watching TV.

I would go in my room and raise both windows so the arctic temperatures that freeze water could combat the temperatures that melt wax that raged in my body. I had to let mom fend for herself on this, while I shut the door. I prayed that God would skip summer just that year so I could go outside when these power surges flooded my face and I so desperately needed to cool down.

One night we were watching TV. I was comfortable for once. Dad commented he was cold. Mom said she was fine. I was praying the conversation wouldn’t end with the temperature rising. Ever innovative--Dad could solve any problem--Dad got up and left the room during a commercial. Soon he came out from the back all wrapped up in his down-filled parka, his hood pulled up and the ties dangling at his cheeks.

“Dad, where are you going?”

“To the couch,” he replied.

Learn from my mistakes

You can probably discern without too much trouble the mistakes I have made. This is a revision of one of my LiveAsIf.org columns, but bears repeating here.

Burl Cain, warden for Angola Prison in Louisiana, once said that no earthly thing can change a man, only Jesus can. He became warden over a prison that was once called the bloodiest place on earth. Back in the fifties and sixties, no one came out of there alive, and no one served their full term. This gutsy man proved that only Jesus can change a man. I learned that the hard way.

Here’s what I have learned in the past 50 years:

Foremost lesson is what I learned from the study of Nehemiah:  Bring everything to God before any action takes place. Paul backs that up, too. The second is like it: Bring anger promptly before God and lay it at His feet before the first word passes the lips. Doing this saves lots of heartache and keeps relationships whole, viable, and tender. I cannot say that I do this all the time. I am impetuous and stubborn. Imagine that! However, when I do follow the above, I have found that I can give God glory rather than embarrass Him.

There are other things that I have learned which seem almost obvious, yet the lessons came hard won.

1. I do not believe the world's assertion that there is ONLY one true love. Love is a choice. I know this for many reasons. (More on that in a bit.)
2. More money only magnifies the character of a person. If the person has a bad character (lies, cheats, greedy, etc.) more money will just make those flaws worse. If he/she is generous, generosity abounds. If thrifty, then thrift abounds.
3. The bad habits a boy has will get worse when he grows older. Once a person “gets away” with something, they will get more daring stretching the envelope until caught or deeply mired in the quicksand of their own making. I watched this happen to someone who wound up in prison for his illegal escapades.
4. Repentance sometimes brings the blessing of not having to pay the consequence of a sin, but more often than not, we do pay the consequences. Praise God we do not have to pay the ultimate price for Jesus did this already on the cross.
5. A woman will never change a man.
6. A baby will never change a man.
7. The only thing that changes a man is Jesus. If a man has no discipline before he’s married, he will have less discipline when he’s married. If a man loves Jesus and lives Christ-like, then marriage will magnify that, and children will magnify that. It is more desirable to have a man like this than to have one with no discipline. In other words Bad Boys remain Bad Boys and do not make good husbands, unless Jesus changes the man.
8. There is no bottom to the depths of a woman’s heart who is in love.
9. Just because a person says he loves Jesus does not mean that he actually does love Jesus.
10. Minor Character flaws really do matter. If he lies to others, he’ll lie to you. If he steals from work, he’ll steal from you. If he is unfaithful to his work and to his boss, he won’t be faithful to you. If he is not a good money manager before marriage, he’ll be even worse after marriage because he’ll have your money, too. If he has bad credit before he marries, he’ll ruin yours after he marries you.
11. When a man prays, keeps his word, reads his Bible, he may seem unexciting and dull. But, those are the kinds of men that are anchors in the storms of life. These kinds of men make great best friends, and will remain loyal throughout life. If his jokes are kind, if he is uncritical, if his friends are kind, honest and loyal then he will be the same kind of man 30 years from now.

After marriage...

Love is a choice, therefore Christians should not consider divorce an option. Getting up and looking at the person you've been married to for the past 5, 7, 10 years and thinking “I don't like him much” is not a reason for divorce. It truly is a passing phase. When two people love the Lord first and the other second, there is no such thing as “growing apart.” It cannot happen. This growing apart is the result of selfishness. Maybe I should say that again. True believers in Christ cannot grow apart because they possess the Holy Spirit that binds them as a third chord. (Ecc. 4:12)

It takes hard work and total commitment to keep a marriage healthy. When a couple decides to marry, there is the conscious and deliberate decision to commit to one another. The love between them comes from God and with His nurturing, that love will continue until death. When the couple lives as two individuals with selfish attitudes that leaves God out of the equation, this is when the marriage begins to fail. When the individual comes first before the mate...when the selfish desire takes precedence over the mate’s pleasure, then the death throes of the marriage begin. The only way a marriage will last is when both have a greater desire to please the other in everything rather than selfishly pleasing himself or herself. The same as how we are supposed to be with Jesus--being more concerned about pleasing Him than ourselves.

However, there are covenant breakers such as, lascivious behavior, adultery, verbal/physical abuse, child abuse. First pray, pray, pray for the one caught in Satan’s web exhibiting this kind of behavior. Yes, a true believer can act that way, and can destroy the marriage. But remember Satan is out to kill, steal, and destroy anything that God has created and loves. Christian marriage is top on his list of things to devour. When counseling doesn't help and the behavior doesn’t stop, then pack the clothes and lock the door because those things are not “as into the Lord” and God has no intention for us to continue in a life filled with that. After all, He divorced Israel over the same kinds of behavior. God intended marriage to be like Song of Solomon, a courtship full of respect and excitement. I believe marriage to be like Psalms. Joy in one person to the exclusion of all others in that way. Being dependent upon the Lord for all things and relying upon one’s mate to keep their covenant involves a great deal of trust.

While it seems like it, betrayed trust is not the end-all of marriage. God requires forgiveness. He forgave; we must forgive. That is a very hard thing to do. When two Believers marry, then divorce is not an option. You can depend upon heartache and pain when two people come together. That is part of our human nature. However, you can be angry, and not sin. Do not let the sun go down upon your wrath, (Eph 4:26). Absolutely joy comes in the morning.

Self-control is part of the Fruit of the Spirit. It requires a great deal of self-control to live harmoniously with another person. God will guard our tongues as well as our thoughts if we ask Him to have control over them. It brings Him glory and isn’t that what all this is about?

Ecc. 4:12  Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not easily broken. Ecc. 12:6  Remember your Creator before the silver cord is loosed, Or the golden bowl is broken, Or the pitcher shattered at the fountain, Or the wheel broken at the well.

ABC Family channel is NOT family friendly

Here is an email that I sent to Robert Iger at Disney about another gross TV show about two teens who begin dating and both have fathers that are transgender and going through sex change procedures! ACK! The channel is deftly trying to desensitize America's youth by airing this kind of anti-family, anti-God's-plan for families. See below and feel free to copy and send your own letter. I copied this letter from OneMillionMom's website.

Send To: robert.a.iger@disney.com
Subject: ABCF continues to push away viewers and sponsors

As a grandparent and a member of OneMillionMoms.com, I am concerned about this new ABC Family Channel program called "Becoming Us." I am disgusted that your network finds this suitable content for a family channel. ABC Family Channel is being irresponsible and causing great damage to our culture.

I am appalled that ABC intends to air a show that features the transgender lifestyle in a positive light on a family channel. I strongly encourage ABC to drop all plans to air the program "Becoming Us."

I am extremely concerned that ABC Family feels a lack of responsibility toward the MAJORITY of families in the U.S. This need to be politically correct has crossed the line in pushing the LGBT agenda into what the MAJORITY of families would expect to be safe entertainment. Less than .4% of Americans admit to being homosexual, and less than that are transgender! It's sickening how this channel panders to the extreme minority!

Two men transforming into women is not natural and is completely unacceptable material for a family network. Obviously, ABC Family Channel is attempting to desensitize America’s youth. There is plenty of time to do the right thing and pull the plug on this series.

My family and I commit to contact sponsors that advertise during this program if your network follows through with this show. We will urge advertisers to place this program on their "do not advertise" list AND urge them to put the entire ABC Family Channel on their "do not advertise" list in protest of pushing mature and offensive content on children all across America.

My family and I will not be watching "Becoming Us" or anything else on ABC Family Channel in order to avoid seeing the previews for this new show, unless you make some needed changes to your lineup. 

Sincerely,

Gina Burgess

Grandmother

Soreness of the Soul

Do you ever get a sore soul? I mean a soreness like a sore tooth in your spirit. The feeling just washes through, leaving a feeling of dread or bleakness. I usually get this feeling when something bad is going to happen. This feeling could develop because the Holy Spirit is grieved for you. God speaks to believers in many different ways. When friends and/or fellow believers speak out or do things to harm you, a child of the living God, that deeply grieves the Holy Spirit.

I'm not talking about when believers have sinned, and there is a feeling of guilt. That is something that comes from Satan, and I know this through experience. I am talking about some special kinds of trials and tribulations that God allows His children to live through so that He will be glorified.

Case in point...

Did God allow Job to be harmed past endurance? Did God share with Job that Satan was the one playing havoc in his life? Were any of us around when God laid the foundations of the world and when He hung the stars in place?

Well, if you answered "yes" to any of those questions, please email me, we need to talk.

No, God did not allow harm to Job beyond Job's endurance. Anyone else might have committed suicide, or followed the stupid advice of Job's wife. God knew the exactness of Job's strength, faith, will, and mental health. God did not allow him to be pushed past a point of no return. God will do no less for us today. He is the same past, present and future... we can depend on that.


Some scholars say that we cannot depend on experience, but must depend on and lean on exactly what the Bible says, forgetting feelings... rejecting feelings. But look at the "set up" in Job 1: Job 1:1 There was a man in the land of Uz, his name was Job. And this man was perfect and upright, and fearing God, and turning away from evil.... Job 1:9

And Satan answered Jehovah and said, Does Job fear God for nothing? Job 1:10 Have You not made a hedge for him, and for his house, and for all that is his all around? You have blessed the work of his hands, and his livestock have increased in the land. Job 1:11 But put out Your hand now, and touch against all that is his, and see if he will not then curse You to Your face.

First, Satan has no power except that which God allows. There is also another factor--that which we give. Knowing this, we are forewarned and forearmed against an evil foe. However, just like Job we have to endure. The point with Job was not at all to teach Job, but to prove a point to Satan.

I am convinced that Job had that soreness in his soul that spread through every fiber of his being. This is such a huge lesson that I just sit back and marvel. I had always thought all our trials and tribulations were forms of education, tests and basic school work that prepares us for our eternal purpose.

That is true in part, but God's good purposes may not be for the person that undergoes the trial, but for the education of an observer... or for later ministry to someone who will go through the same thing... or to prove to Satan some Truth. Those kinds of trials are extremely hard (the things that happened to Job are tremendous stress triggers as well as huge grief causers). What an amazing thing.

The glory of God proved to Job's wife who said, "Curse God and die." She had 10 more children.

The glory of God proved to Job whose wealth was restored and multiplied!

Job's friends who had advice that produced such contempt from God. Job 42:7 And it happened, after Jehovah spoke these words to Job, Jehovah said to Eliphaz the Temanite, My anger glows against you and your two friends. For You have not spoken the right about Me, as My servant Job. Job 42:8 And now take for you seven young bulls and seven rams and go to My servant Job, and offer a burnt offering for yourselves. And My servant Job will pray for you. Surely I will lift up his face so as not to do with you according to your folly, in that you have not spoken the right about Me, as My servant Job.

But, look! How sweet the thought... worth living through all the storms, pain, and soul-soreness, "I will lift up his face..." Job 42:9

Run don't walk to safety

Sometimes we react to a situation instinctively. We run in fear, or we swallow hard and stand our ground. One way or another, fear can actually be our friend by helping along a healthy reaction.

One beautiful morning I was drinking coffee and reading my bible, all was right with the world. My cat Scooter had just jumped from my lap to stretch, then  he wandered to the sliding glass doors to bask in the sunshine behind the curtains. All was right with the world.

Engrossed with the Psalms, I forgot about him. Suddenly, there was such a commotion and scrabbling I jumped up from my chair. What was that? What was happening?

Scooter comes streaking out from behind the TV leaving the curtains flying in his wake. He was intent on gettingt away from something  terrifying. He planted himself between my feet, his sides heaving in terror, and faced his demons from the safety of his Gigi's protection.

Value of the circumcised heart

The Torah was so steeped in sacredness that the elders of Israel put a hedge of protection around it so that no man could misunderstand and break the Law. Then the next generation put a hedge around that hedge, and again another hedge around that hedge on down through the centuries until Tradition out weighed the Torah by 18 volumes of tiny type to one small volume held in one hand.

Deuteronomy 10:16 And you shall circumcise the foreskin of your heart, and you shall not harden your neck any more.

God and His Glorious Ways

Psalm 131:1  A Song of Ascents. Of David. LORD, my heart is not haughty, Nor my eyes lofty. Neither do I concern myself with great matters, Nor with things too profound for me.

Isn't it amazing that the mighty King David said his heart was not haughty, nor his eyes lofty. This king knew beyond doubt exactly who was in charge... and he loved it that way. He recognized God's ways were so much greater than mere human understanding could possibly ascertain. Here we see a most humble heart toward God, as ours should be when we want the absolute best for ourselves and for our family. We just can't go wrong with a God as

Loving pleasure or loving to please?

There are certain things that just naturally give pleasure.

We derive pleasure from what others do for us, and from what we do for others there is a certain pleasure that comes from altruism, certainly. As Margaret pointed out below one may say pleasure and another say "joy." Defining the term pleasure God says:

The one who loves pleasure will become a poor man; whoever loves wine and oil will not get rich. Proverbs 21:17

In these days of soft-soap Christianity and the feel-good-do-it society,

Talk about HATE rhetoric

There's this fellow named Dan Savage who is a hatemonger concerning all things Christian and biblical. He is an atheist, and has said some awful things about Christians and to Christians.

I'm all for allowing any U.S. citizen his right to free speech, and to voice his opinions, but when ABC and Disney buy into this hate-mongering by putting on a sitcom loosely based on this guy's life, I have to draw the line!


Media Research Center has put together a video about what this guy has been saying. It's quite shocking to me. Although, it probably isn't shocking to less sheltered people. I have MTV blocked on my TV. I find it quite distasteful. I don't listen to the shock jocks on radio so I wasn't exposed there. Perhaps, the most shocking thing I saw in this video is how Obama has endorsed Dan Savage and what he's been saying. Well... view the thing for yourself. What do you think?





Amazingly, Jesus died for this guy, too. No matter how despicable one's actions are, Jesus still offers His blood to cover them.

Love divine, all loves excelling, 
 joy of heaven, to earth come down; 
 fix in us thy humble dwelling; 
 all thy faithful mercies crown! 
 Jesus thou art all compassion, 
 pure, unbounded love thou art; 
 visit us with thy salvation; 
 enter every trembling heart. 

2. Breathe, O breathe thy loving Spirit 
 into every troubled breast! 
 Let us all in thee inherit; 
 let us find that second rest. 
 Take away our bent to sinning; 
 Alpha and Omega be; 
 end of faith, as its beginning, 
 set our hearts at liberty. 

3. Come, Almighty to deliver, 
 let us all thy life receive; 
 suddenly return and never, 
 nevermore thy temples leave. 
 Thee we would be always blessing, 
 serve thee as thy hosts above, 
 pray and praise thee without ceasing, 
 glory in thy perfect love. 

4. Finish, then, thy new creation; 
 pure and spotless let us be. 
 Let us see thy great salvation 
 perfectly restored in thee; 
 changed from glory into glory, 
 till in heaven we take our place, 
 till we cast our crowns before thee, 
 lost in wonder, love, and praise. 

The United Methodist Hymnal Number 384, Text: Charles Wesley, 1707-1788, Music: John Zundel, 1815-1882, Tune: BEECHER, 
Meter: 87.87 D HymnSite.com Home

Grace does not run in the blood

Grace pours out from Heaven in such a flood that it cannot even be compared to Niagara Falls. But grace does not run in bloodlines.

A study of Jesus' lineage shows a curious mixture of good and bad royalty. Even in those written in the Hall of Faith in Hebrews were counted righteous, but certainly were not sinless. Humans have this wonderful tendency to be oh so very good, but when bad are particularly horrid.

Something I had not thought about before is those wicked kings that show up in Jesus’ lineage. Matthew Henry points out that grace does not run in the blood. Here’s what he says:

Some observe what a mixture there was of good and bad in the succession of these kings; as for instance (Matt. 1:7-8), wicked Roboam begat wicked Abia; wicked Abia begat good Asa; good Asa begat good Josaphat; good Josaphat begat wicked Joram. Grace does not run in the blood, neither does reigning sin. God's grace is his own, and he gives or withholds it as he pleases.

Often times we think because of who our father is or who our mother is  that gives us a hall pass to do as we please. Some of that is ego, but most of it comes from a false belief of entitlement. That respect paid to the “great” person in our life has a tendency to bleed down (or over) to us, but it truly is because of nothing we have done.

By the same token, that respect and love given to us as believers in Christ from other believers in Christ first comes because Jesus commanded it. Then as relationships blossom that trust and respect comes to us because of who we are in Christ, how we relate to others, and even returning that respect and love we initially received.

Then, because we are humans and fallible, something goes wrong, tension rises, anger flares, feelings are hurt and we suddenly withdraw our trust of the other believer. We steer clear of him or her. We hold grudges. We might hold back gossiping about it, and feel very pious about that. When all the time Jesus is saying, “Forgive, love, because that is the only way the world knows Who I AM!”

Grace.

Just as God delivers grace to those whom He will so, too, should we. Who are we to withhold grace from our brothers and sisters in Christ when the ultimate forgiveness and love was poured out from Heaven to the cross and swept the world?

Grace does not run in the bloodlines, but receiving it is a definite choice. There are we happy. That is a two-way heart throb that God pours out from Heaven directly into our hearts if we open them up to it. We sing the song, Open the Eyes of My Heart, Lord. My question is, how can He if we lock the doors of our heart and keep them embedded in stone?

30 THINGS I LEARNED LIVIN IN Louisiana

DISCLAIMER: This is a reprint! It just seemed like the day for remembering my days in Louisiana… But, then all this holds true for Mississippi, too. We  Southerners are just plain folk who like a good time and a little tea with our sugar :D

1) A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.

2) There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in Louisiana . 

3) There are 10,000 types of spiders, and all 10,000 of them live in Louisiana .

4) If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.

5)  Onced" and "Twiced" are words.

6) It is not a shopping cart, it's a buggy.

7) "Jawl-P?" means, "Did y'all go to the bathroom?"

8)  People actually grow okra and eat it . 

9) "Fixinto" is one word. 

10) There is no such thing as lunch. There is only dinner and then there is supper... 

11) Iced tea is appropriate for all meals, and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar. 

12) Backwards and forwards means, "I know everythin' 'bout you.
 
13) The word "jeet" is actually a phrase meaning, "Did you eat?" 

14) You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see... 

15) You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH 'em.  

16)  You measure distance in minutes.

17) You switch from heat to A/C in the same day. 


18) All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect, or animal.

19) You know what a "Dawg" is.

20) You carry jumper cables in your car - for your own car. 

21) You only own five spices: salt, pepper, Tony Chachere's, Tabasco , and ketchup

22) The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local gossip and LSU football....

23) You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.

24) You find 100 degrees "a bit warm."

25) You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer, and Christmas. 

26) Going to Walmart is a favorite past time known as "Goin' Walmartin" or "off to Wally World." 

27) You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good gumbo weather.

28) Fried catfish is the other white meat. 

29) We don't need no dang Driver's Ed . . . . If our mama says we can drive, we can drive.

30)  You understand these jokes and forward them to your Louisiana friends and those who just wish they were from Louisiana!!!!!

Millennials and Their Church...

All by yourself?

What did the disciples try to do under their own strength?

Sail across a lake in a storm... cast a demon from a boy... walk on water... understand Jesus's teachings...

Probably a better question would be what did they not try to do under their own strength.

Jesus made it very clear when He called them little-faiths: ὀλιγόπιστος oligopistos (ol-ig-op'-is-tos) From G3641 and G4102; incredulous, that is, lacking confidence (in Christ): - of little faith.

We smile and shake our heads and say, 'How could they not have faith?'

Jesus spoke and the storm calmed, He reached out and plucked Peter from sinking in the water, He cast out the demon from the boy and the boy was well ever after that, He fed the 5000 and the 4000 with baskets of food left over. When God shows Himself in that glory, how could anyone not have faith?

How indeed.

I sit in a chair and know it will keep me from falling on the floor. I turn the key in the ignition of my car and expect it to start the engine and for it to take me where I need to go. I don't have quite as much faith in my computer as it has failed me more often than my car.

There is the key. My car, actually, has never failed me... the one I have now. Other cars failed me and one in particular I never had faith it would start. I'd always prayed and hoped it would start.

God has never failed me.

Why is it, then, I sometimes have doubts? Is it my point of reference?

People have failed me... even the ones that I never expected much from, failed me. It isn't their fault because they are human, with human natures that are imperfect. We do not have the capability to be perfect within our flesh. That is impossible. God, on the other hand, is perfect and infallable.

But... we guage God through our human-ness. We think with our finite minds and see with our imperfect vision and this is how we see God, forgetting that we are made in God's image (not the other way around) and not in His perfect nature and character. We have the potential and we will be perfect one day, just not today. Therefore, we cannot see all that God sees or know all that God knows and that makes for a very imperfect understanding of our own situations and future. It also makes for a very imperfect, and perhaps quite wobbly faith.

Here is the tricky part. God is okay with the wobbly faith up to a point. There comes a time when God expects trust no matter the cost, and trusting Him can be quite costly from a secular world point of view. Yet, it is our weakness that glorifies His strength. Our trust magnifies His name. Our frailties in concert with God's power makes the angels wonder.

God has never failed me. I have to go with what I know, regardless of the feelings of doubt, because those feelings are so fleeting. So, I put my hand in the hand of the Man that stilled the water because He kept His promises no matter the cost. How, indeed, can my faith falter?

...and the blind see (a short story)

…and the blind see.

My eyes leak tears of great sadness. The darkness has overcome the glorious light.

For hours the darkness shadowed the world and I could not see, nor no one could see. It was as if I were blind once again, but this time the whole of the world was blind with me. But, my tears are not because of lost sight, because of stumbling and tripping. The tears flooding my face and the front of my shirt are because a most beloved face is even now twisted with agony and suffering.

Why Adonai? Why give me my sight only to see this horror? I know Who it is that is groaning in great pain. It is your Son, the glorious Messiah, Emmanuel, King of Kings, Wonderful, Counselor, Almighty God. And yet, He hangs there, suspended above the earth covered in blood, and dying for me. I cannot help it, I ache at that thought, and rent my clothes, heap dust on my head and cry out Abba Father. Look upon Your Son, Shaddai. Look at what they have done to Your Son!

The thorns are embedded in His skull, some protruding out below the crown. Blood has covered that beautiful face. The most beautiful sight I had ever seen was that face, a face filled with great compassion. Those of you who love Him already can imagine how marvelous for the very first sight you have in your life is His face!

He wasn’t beautiful as some think. He was actually rather plain of countenance, but He took me out of the darkness into the glorious light of His face. It was such beauty it made me faint with joy. Ah… why, you ask, was his face so beautiful? Why, because I was born blind of a blind man. I am a Jew by birth and the son of Timaeus which means unclean. I received my sight because He said my faith had made me well. I had encountered my Deliverer, and my life was changed forever. I was not only sound of body, but also on the inside. My soul was now glowing, with that glorious light. I jumped up from my spot on the side of the road and followed Him. I vowed to never to leave His side, never realizing… I did not fathom what was soon to come.

Oy vei, oh woe, woe to the world, the life is ebbing from our only hope. I looked at Him and His eyes enveloped me with such love a well could not have held it all. My heart drank and drank from that love. Even in His great agony, He smiled at me. Then He looked at the Romans casting lots for His clothes. Incredibly, He asked YWHW to forgive them for they didn’t know what they were doing. The Centurion’s stern face was melted into awe. How could One treated so, ask forgiveness for the ones who had inflicted such pain? The Centurion had encountered the King of Kings. The one who lived to serve authority had met the Highest Authority, and his life was changed forever.

Listen, what is He saying? “Eli, Eli, lama Shabachthani?” That means, My God, My God, why hast thou forsaken Me? Then He looked down and stared at the Pharisee standing close to the cross. Not close enough that the spatters of blood would drop on him, but close enough to hear the anguish in that voice. Much stronger than possible for One on the cross for so long, yet He would have hours yet to suffer. The stronger ones lasted for days on the cross. I think about that Psalm that Jesus had quoted. I can see the Pharisee’s lips move as he quotes the Psalm to himself.

My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me, and are far from My deliverance, from the words of My groaning? O my God, I cry by day, but You do not answer; and in the night, and there is no silence to Me. But You are holy, being enthroned on Israel's praises. Our fathers trusted in You; they trusted, and You delivered them. They cried to You, and were delivered; they trusted in You, and were not ashamed.

I could see him nod his head. He was remembering Abraham, and Moses, and Joshua, and Hezekiah.

But I am a worm, and no man; a reproach of mankind, and despised by the people. All who see Me scornfully laugh at Me; they open the lip; they shake the head, saying, He rolled on Jehovah, let Him deliver Him; let Him rescue Him, since He delights in Him.

The Pharisee looked around at the laughing and jeering crowd. His eyes passed over me, but stopped as one after another of the crowd cried out, “Let us see if Elijah comes to save Him.” Others wagged their heads and cried out, “You who would destroy the Temple and rebuild it in three days, save Yourself! If You are the Son of God, come down from the cross.” The chief priests also mocked, “He saved others; Himself He cannot save. If He is the king of Israel, let Him come down and then we will believe Him.”

The Pharisee paled. If this really was God, they would never have dared speak thus to Him. They would never speak HaShem the Name for fear of blasphemy. What if… Yet his lips continued to quote the holy passage written by David so many generations ago. 

For You are He, My Taker from the womb; causing Me to trust on My mother's breasts. I was cast on You from the womb, from My mother's belly, You are My God. Be not far from Me; for trouble is near; because no one is there to help. Many bulls have circled around Me; strong bulls of Bashan have surrounded Me. They opened their mouth on Me, like a lion ripping and roaring. I am poured out like waters, and all My bones are spread apart; My heart is like wax; it is melted in the midst of My bowels. My strength is dried up like a potsherd; and My tongue clings to My jaws;

I could see the Pharisee startled expression. Jesus had whispered, “I thirst.”

and You appoint Me to the dust of death; for dogs have encircled Me; a band of spoilers have hemmed Me in, piercing My hands and My feet.

When the Pharisee said “piercing My hands and My feet” his countenance changed to one of shock. His face turned ashen as if all the blood had drained from it. He staggered like one who had taken a mighty blow to the gut. His hand rested on his chest as if he tried to still his heart’s racing. I could see him tremble as he looked up at his King; and Jesus looked on Him with love. His lips barely moved now as he continued the Psalm.

I count all My bones; they look, they stare at Me.

In truth, his ribs were in stark relief. His arms stretched out, nails in His wrists and in the arches of his feet. When He relaxed, the weight of His whole body was on His wrists, and when He pushed up to exhale a breath, His whole weight was on the nails in His feet. His agony was unbearable to watch. With every push up with His feet, blood gushed from His wounds, mixing with the blood caked, and dried causing much misery. I ached for Him. The tears would not stop, soaking my beard and the prayer shawl I had draped over my head.

They divide My garments among them, and they made fall a lot for My clothing.

Yea, the Romans did cast lots for His clothing. The Pharisee’s countenance changed from one of hateful anger to one of haunting longing. He reached up a hand. The Pharisee had an encounter with his Savior and was changed forever.

I was crushed as an olive in the oil press. I was undone. Despair spread through His followers. A Pharisee I did not know whom I learned later was called Joseph, took down Jesus’ body from the cross and carried Him to a tomb. I watched as he and another called Nicodemus carefully washed His body then wrapped Him in spices. From the looks of it, the spices, aloes and myrrh, must have weighed a talent, or about a hundred Roman pounds. They placed a handkerchief around his bruised head and His face, then they rolled a huge stone into place.

My shoulders slumped for I heard in my mind’s eye the last words of my beloved Jesus, “It is finished.”

I stayed there for I do not know how long. I had no stomach to eat and no will to sleep for my sight had been given me and the images of the past days I could not be rid of. The Temple soldiers taking Him in the Garden, the trial of Him in the house of Caiaphas, the trial of Him in the Roman house of Pilate, the sound of the whip slashing His skin, the sound of His blood as it dripped on to the flagstones, the sound of the nails driven into His flesh, the sound of the bones as they cast lots for His clothes. It seared my mind and I could hardly stand it. Wearily, I took myself off to bed where I stayed until Sabbath. I knew then, I should thank the LORD for my sight. I gathered the few coins I had from my begging and offered them on the altar as thanksgiving. It was a bittersweet thanksgiving.

When Sabbath drew to a close, the sun had pinkened the sky, but had not yet risen, I took myself off to the tomb again. I knew He was gone, for He had told the thief they would both be in Paradise that day. I knew He spoke Truth, for He was Truth. I thought praying would help heal my grief that my relationship with my LORD was so brief, grief that I could do nothing to help Him or to thank Him for my sight.  

I stumbled and fell to my face. The earth moved just as it had the day He died. The stone closing Him in had rolled away and the soldier guards were vanished. I rubbed my eyes, for I thought they were deceiving me. Yet, there were the women, the same who had gathered that awful day, who wept and wailed. They were there before me. An angel sat on top of the stone, his smile more beautiful than the sun.

“Why do you seek the Living among the dead?” he asked the women.

Why indeed? Could this be true. Was my Beloved alive? Had He risen? Joy flooded my being. I leapt up and could not help myself, I danced. The sun peeked over the mountains and I danced as David danced when they brought back the Ark of the Covenant.

Hope beyond understanding filled my soul. I live today because a Man who is the Son of God loved me and healed me. He healed me by giving me sight which no other living, or dead had ever been able to do, giving sight to one born blind. I vowed to my precious LORD that moment that I would forever sing His praises. I would tell my story to any and all who would listen. Now, you know. I have born witness to the facts of these events. Do not sit still, but reach out to Him that was on the cross, but is no longer dead. He is alive. He is alive! He begs to you come, drink from the Living Water so you will never thirst. Come says the Spirit and the Bride, come. Let whoever desires take the water of life freely.

Inspired by a sermon preached by Walter Barnes, Youth Minister, Roseland Park Baptist Church in 2009. (c) Gina Burgess 2015.